The Man slashed another vine with his new machete as he trudged through more and more Jungle foliage. He wiped his brow and tried to ignore the sun beating down upon him as he slashed another vine.
He had been trudging through the jungle for weeks looking for the someone who he needed to find. His clothes had been tripped and dirted and frayed and his voice had grown horse and broken once again. Unfortunately, not only had that happened,he had been unsuccessful in this goal that he had been given, and the worst part of all of it was that he was stuck with-
“Geez and I thought Ghoul was bad at cutting,” said Miss Heed who was tapping her screen trying to get a signal. “I’m sure you're not even trying!”
(Former) General Lunaris grimaced and he turned and brandished his machete.
“I’m trying to get us through this forsaken Jungle so we can find this crackpot scientist to help us.” He lowered his machete and continued to glare. “I’ve been cutting for days on end while you’ve been mindlessly tapping that pathetic electronic device like an infant.”
“It's called being updated,” she replied, looking up and glaring back at him. “But of course, thinking that Moons are Planets while dissing on birds isn't really something that makes you update worthy, is it?” She smirked into his white twitching eyes. Lunaris snarled, but then got and idea, turned around and said:
“At least I didn’t get dumped in front of a whole city.”
Heed grew a large blush and scowled as well. She clutched her phone tighter.
Lunaris turned from her and saw they came upon a clearing in their path. He sheathed his machete and walked to the center, feeling around the ground and shedding blades of grass between his fingers.
“I’ll stop here for the night.” He started to unpack from his fanny pack.
“What about me?”
Lunaris turned to her and pointed left.
“Use that hole.”
That night, Lunaris crouched over the pile of logs and took out his box of matches. He struggled in vain to try and get them out until he ripped it open. As he tried to set the fire, Heed sat looking at her phone.
“He's not my boyfriend BTW.”
Lunaris looked up. “Excuse me?”
“Flug isn’t my boyfriend.”
Lunaris finished lighting the fire and started to fiddle with a small electronic disk in his hands. “Must have excellent taste.”
Heed grimaced as they pulled out her food.
“Really? Coleslaw with powdered afrodisiac- No thank you I’ll stick with my moon jerky.” said Lunaris as he pulled out plain white jerky, before taking a chewy bite out of it. “Bet your boyfriend would love-”
“I’ll have you know that I have absolutely no romantic feelings for Flug whatsoever and that I was actually simping for his stupid brother who is actually some egotistical gay-”
“Hold up.” Lunaris held his hand up weakly. “Are you saying this Goldheart guy you keep screeching about…is Gay?”
Heed nodded.
“Huh. What a coincidence.”
“What do you mean?” she asked skeptically.
“Because…” started Lunaris as he fiddled as his jerky. “Penumbra,” he said with a snarl. "Is a-" he slightly gagged. "Lesbian."
Heed, hearing this, rested her head on her hand. "I guess that's one thing we both have in common. We're both Homophobic.”
Lunaris opened his mouth to say something…but then his heart skipped several beats. He reached for his machete while keeping his eye contact. Miss Heed was confused.
“What are you-”
Lunaris chucked the machete.
Heed screamed and ducked as it barely missed her head and soared into the bushes and vines. There was a large CLANGK! Sound. Heed was flabbergasted.
‘WHAT THE- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?”
Lunaris ignored her and ran to the spot he threw the machete at. He bent at the ground and motioned for Heed to come over, who did, although angry and complaining.
At Lunaris’ feet was a small, smashed ball of metal, which had Lunaris’ machete lodged into its eye. The skin had cracked, causing broken screeches of pain. Lunaris pulled out his blade.
“He's right.” he said, sheathing it on his back. “He's here.” He reached into the drone and fiddled with its controls until it started to emit a small flashing light.
“The drone has a tracker on it. Reverse the signal and it’ll take us to where it came from.” He picked it up and held it out in front of him.
“Pack the camp. We're gonna find our guy.”
Heed, though reluctant, agreed.
After they packed the camp, they ventured deeper into the jungle during the morning’s early hours, with the broken drone as their guide through the vines and trees of the nebulous jungle.
“Are we there yet?” asked Heed, once again trying to find a signal.
“Not really.” replied Lunaris for the upte nth. The signals getting stronger, but I’m not se-”
He pushed a clump of leaves out of his way and stopped dead in his tracks. Heed noticed and peered over his shoulder.
Standing dead in the middle of another clearing, looking more sick and frayed then there's, was a large metal bunker without any windows, doors or signs pointing to or identifying it. They went slowly towards it, doubting that it didn't have security measures either.
Lunaris pressed the side of his face to the bunker's front wall and dragged his hand down, making a metallic rubbing noise against it. He then knocked in a rhythmic pattern on the silver surface, although he thankfully didn't give it a lick. Heed tapped her foot impatiently as he did this.
"Can't you just open the stupid door?"
"I need to check each of the bunker's walls for security systems." he replied, scathing as he started rhythmically knocking again. "He's a criminal mastermind, I doubt getting into the bunker would be effortless and-"
Just then, Heed walked to the wall Lunaris was inspecting and slid it open. Lunaris fell to the ground. He jumped up, disheveled and annoyed, now nursing a small cut on his lower back.
"Told you putting it on your leg is better.”
Lunaris scowled as he pulled out his machete and walked through the door into the darkness. “Lights please.” He clicked his fingers. Heed followed, turning on her phone’s torch and shining it in.
It was an elevator with only 2 buttons and a bench built into the wall. They both frowned, feeling anticlimactic at what the bunker had inside it. Regardless, they went inside and sat down on the bench, with Lunaris pressing the lower button to make the elevator go before he sat down.
As the elevator creakily went down, Lunaris attached the small metal disk he was fiddling with at the campfire, and one blue light later, his skin and eyes had changed to brown with his eyeballs changing to a normal white colour. Heed started to rummage through her pocket, but quickly became agitated.
“Darn it! I left my ear pods at the campsite.”
Lunaris grimaced. “Then listen WITHOUT the earpods.”
CLANK!
They jumped off the bench, fully alert and attentive. But then the metal gates parted.
In Front of them was a small room. At the end of it was a large desk with countless prices of tech and machines, which stood In front of a large screen showing a beach background. But at the desk was a short gray haired man in a lab coat, fiddling with a large yellow egg.
Lunaris walked through the doors with his hands behind his back.
The old man sighed, got up from the desk and turned. He had a long beard and black goggles. He frowned.
“Well,” he put his hands in his pockets. “I thought that someone would find me. Didn’t think it would be a chick and a Mathew Henson with a machete.”
Miss Heed spat on the floor.
“We have been sent here by our superior to acquire your assistance. He has heard about your skills and sent us to try and find you in this jungle to access you and your machines.”
Strange heard this and stroked his beard. Maybe these people weren't as simple as he thought.
“And Why would I help you people?"
"Because we've seen your history. It seems you have an unpleasant history with superheroes."
"Well I'm going to rewrite it!" cried Strange, throwing his hands up. He pulled out a phone and showed them a list of individuals. "I've spent decades watching and spying on the superheroes in this world and writing down their identities!” He waved the phone up and down pointing to it. “I’m so close to finding all of them and exposing them.” He then turned his back, walked to his desk and pushed a button on the desk.
Drones suddenly appeared, their guns and weapons at the ready, pointing at the duo's heads.
“And you're not going to live to see it.” He clicked his phone.
The Drones started unloading their rounds upon them. Lunaris quickly unsheathed his machete and used it to hit the blasts at the drones while Heed tried to dodge the blasts. Strange then started to make his way to his desk when someone grabbed his arm.
“Not on my watch.” said Heed with a glare.
“Let me Go, you poser!” shouted Strange as they started to wrestle.
As they did, the number of Drones started to increase on Lunaris’ end, and they started to increase in number and fire power. He was hit in the neck, deactivating his disguise. He then got an idea.
“Heed!” He pointed to a large blinking light on the wall near her and Strange. “GET HIM THERE!”
Heed nodded and twisted the Doctor’s arm behind his back and shoved him near the light. “W-what are you doing?!” he choked.
“NOW!” shouted Heed.
Lunaris threw his machete at the two, getting blasted in the throat by one of the drones and falling to the floor. Heed jumped back, leaving Strange completely next to the light. He saw the blade.
“Oh dear.”
CRASH!
The blade stabbed the light, causing it to be consumed with sparks and lightning, striking Dr. Strange in his face and causing him to flail about screaming. The Lights flicked, the drones screamed and the two villains covered their eyes…
The room went completely black. But then, the emergency lights came on. It revealed the smashed desk, the dead drones and Hugo Strange’s body on the floor. Then Heed saw Lunaris’ body. She ran over, kneeled down and shook him awake. Lunaris jumped up, rubbing his throat irritably. “Is he dead?” he asked Heed.
Miss Heed looked over at Strange’s body, which was moving feebly. “Yes.” She then saw Strange’s phone cracked. “But the Superhero Identities have been lost.”
Lunaris frowned. “That's a shame. And most of the equipment has been destroyed.”
Suddenly, Strange tried getting up, but limply dragged down the wall. As he did, a small voice said, “Voice Password correct.”
The Wall parted. Intrigued, Lunaris and Heed looked in.
Inside was a long dark hallway. A long line of lights covered the hallway in a bright hue which showed the walls, which were covered with rows and rows and rows of shelves. But it wasn't the shelves that drew their attention: I was the shevle’s contents. Each row and shelf were full of the most horrifying mechanical devices imaginable: Knifes, guns, blasters, axes, teleporters, invisibility rays, bombs and Aphrodisiac. Lots and lots of Aphrodisiac.
General Lunaris and Miss Heed looked at each other and grew sick smiles.
“Excellent…” they both said as they looked back at the hallway. “...Master will be pleased.”
