Transcript[]
| Dewey looks both ways and closes the window's curtains. Dewey opens the chest and looks down | |
|---|---|
| Webby | You guys! (Dewey gasps) Scrooge just got a new security bot, and it can melt through solid steel, and it is adorable! (DT-87 drops Webby down it's head) Wait, where are Huey and Louie? |
| Dewey | Who? |
| Webby | Um, your brothers? |
| Dewey | Uh, Webby, I don't have brothers. I'm an only child. |
| Webby | Don't be ridicu... (gasps) Oh, no. We must be in some sort of dystopian alternate dimension. |
| Dewey | Calm down. Everything is fine. |
| Webby | Exactly what an evil Dewey-doppelganger would say! (She tackles Dewey and fights him) Give it up, Dew-pelganger! Where... is... Dewey? |
| Huey | Webby, stop! That is Dewey! (He pulls his arm) |
| Louie | (Grabs Huey) He's just doing a Dewey thing! |
| Webby | Oh. (She lets go the the triplets) |
| Dewey | Thank you, good Samaritans. You restored my faith in the kindness of random strangers. |
| Huey | Not even one hour in, and your stupid "Only Child Day" has already almost gotten one of us killed. |
| Webby | "Only" -what-now? |
| Dewey | It's a beautiful holiday. |
| Huey | That he made up. |
| Dewey | Where, for a whole day, we get to be sibling-free (He picks up Webby) and do all the amazing things (He places her down) that an only child gets to do! Make our marks on the world! |
| Louie | Not have to answer to anyone! |
| Huey | Be horribly alone? |
| Dewey | (He pops up to the camera) For once! (Huey pushes his head away) |
| Huey | He's been threatening to do it for years, (He pulls out his Waddle Pad out of his hat) but I never thought he could get into my password-protected sibling calendar. (Dewey grabs his Waddle Pad) |
| Dewey | I have my ways. (The sibling calendar, that says "Only Child Day" with the circled day on it. Then he blows a black marker on the top of it.) |
| Huey | Of course, he put it on the day I need them both, the annual Junior Woodchuck Three-Man Cookout. |
| Louie | Boring. |
| Dewey | Ugh.Teamwork. |
| Louie | Well, as the now sole heir to Scrooge's fortune, I can finally make friends with Doofus Drake, the richest kid in Duckburg. He only mingles with other obscenely rich heirs, so... (shrugs) |
| Huey | What a snob. |
| Dewey | He's the worst. |
| Louie | (Gasps) You see the judgement that I have to live with? Well, today, your heartless criticism can't deny me my dream of being shamelessly spoiled. |
| Webby | What are you gonna do, Dewey? |
| Dewey | I don't have to explain myself to you! I'm an only child! |
| Webby | I don't get why you're doing this. Isn't being a triplet awesome? |
| Huey | Thank you! |
| Dewey | Who are you again, sassy stranger? |
| Huey | The brother you rudely take for granted! Right, Louie? (He pulls Louie's arm) |
| Dewey | The random passerby clearly loves Only Child Day, Right, Louie? (stammers) Or whoever you are? |
| Louie | I just want to use a rich kid for his infinity pool! (Crying) Why can't I have that for myself! |
| Huey and Dewey fight. | |
| Louie | Stop fighting! (Crying) Stop it! |
| Dewey | And this is why we need Only Child Day. |
| Huey slaps Dewey and the theme song plays. | |
| Huey | Stupid Dewey. Why can't I just have brothers that blindly listen to me for once? |
| Woodchuck #1 | I don't say this enough, but I sure do love being a trio! |
| Woodchuck #2 | Yeah! Good things come in threes. |
| Woodchuck #3 | Ooh, like the three legs on this tripod. |
| Woodchuck #1 | Even three cheers! Hip.... |
| Woodchuck #3 | Hip... |
| Huey | Hurray... |
| Woodchuck #2 | See? |
| Huey talks to Launchpad as he's pitching a tent. | |
| Huey | What do you mean I can't come? If I don't participate, I'll never get my commemorative cookout badge. That means a lop-sided sash, Launchpad. A LOP SIDED SASH! |
| Launchpad | Sorry, but it's the three-man cookout. I didn't get to be a troop leader by bending the rules. I got it by crashing the bus during a camping trip and the other leaders quitting. |
| Huey | (sighs) |
| The Beagle Boys are spying on Huey and Launchpad. | |
| Big Time | This is perfect. We can't have all four of those brats, but we could definitely nab one. |
| Bouncer | Uh, Big Time, we're starting to think you have an unhealthy obsession with kidnapping. We're here if you want to talk about it. |
| Big Time | Wow, thanks! Actually, there is something I'd like to say. (smacks Bouncer and Burger's heads) GET MOVING! |
| Huey | I can easily do the work of three woodchucks twice my size, see? (grunts as he struggles to lift a log on the ground) |
| Launchpad | Sorry. Unless you can two other scouts.... Ooh, how about them? And what are your names, mysterious woodchuck I'd never seen before? |
| Bouncer | Tim.... |
| Burger | (incoherent mumbling) |
| Bouncer | He's, uh, Timbo. |
| Huey | (drags Launchpad away) Launchpad, those are the Beagle Boys in disguise! |
| Launchpad | Junior Woodchuck Rule #413: "Never speak ill of a fellow Woodchuck," unless you don't want that badge. |
| Huey | (looking back and forth between the Beagle Boys and his sash) Possible death, definite badge, possible death, definite badge, definite badge. Definite badge. |
| Huey starts picking berries. | |
| Bouncer | Hey, look. (points to an obvious and badly-made pit trap) We found some firewood for you.... next to a normal pile of twigs. |
| Huey | (sighs) If I'm gonna get captured, I'm at least gonna be captured right. (to Bouncer and Burger) If you can't even build a proper pit trap, then how do you expect us to earn our cookout badges? |
| Bouncer | Whaaaaaat? That is a pit trap? |
| Huey | Here, let me show you. |
| Huey shows them how to make a proper pit trap. Bouncer and Burger are impressed. Big Time tries to ambush Huey from behind the bushes, but he missed and falls to the pit trap instead. | |
| Huey | Mm-hm, the poachers knot was a good instinct, but what you want here is a double overhead noose. (reties the knot into a double overhead noose) |
| Bouncer | Wow, that does work better. |
| Huey | All right, fold the ends over, go ahead. |
| Big Time gets caught in the noose. | |
| Huey | Wow, Dewey and Louie would never have gotten this done so fast, o you know, even tried. So, what do you wanna eat? |
| Bouncer | You... want me to... chose? |
| Huey | You earned it. It's only fair. |
| Bouncer | Ffffaaaaaaiiiiiir? |
| Huey | Junior Woodchuck Rule 72: "Always be fair to your fellow Woodchucks." |
| Bouncer | I.... I think I know something. |
| Bouncer prepares food on the campfire. | |
| Bouncer | Junkyard stew. |
| Huey | Mmm, is that cumin? |
| Bouncer | Yeah, it complements the root vegetables. |
| Huey | It's.... exquisite. |
| Bouncer | Really? Well, I've never eaten it before. It's just usually thrown in my face. |
| Huey | Well, we don't do that here. A Woodchuck looks out for his fellow scouts. (spoon feeds the stew to Bouncer and Burger) You know, Tim and Timbo, it's nice to finally have brothers who actually appreciate camaraderie. (gets up) I'm gonna go hang this stew. (carries the cauldron with him) Every bear in the forest is gonna want this! |
| Big Time throws the stew into Bouncer's face. | |
| Big Time | What's taking you idiots so long?! Ma's waiting for me to be the hero! |
| Bouncer | That's not..... fair. |
| Big Time | So? |
| Bouncer | And we should ask Huey if he wants to be snatched first. |
| Big Time | Ask? Ugh, fine. If you numbskulls can't do it, I'll grab him myself. |
| Bouncer | We can't let you do that. |
| Big Time | What are you doing? |
| Huey hangs up the stew with a rope. | |
| Bouncer | Uh, Big Huey, sir? (points to Big Time who is tied up on a high branch on a tree in a distance) We kidnapped someone for you. |
| Huey | You did what?! |
| Bouncer | Well, he was gonna kidnap you first. |
| Huey | No! (runs to the tree) No! |
| Bouncer | A Junior Woodchuck looks out for his fellow Woodchucks, no matter the cost. (follows Huey with Burger) |
| Huey | (The branch begins to break) He's gonna get killed! He's your brother! |
| Bouncer | We like you better, new Big Time. You'll love it back at the junkyard. You'll never be lonely again. |
| Huey | (climbs up tree) Just help me get him down! |
| Bouncer | You got it, boss! |
| Huey | Ugh, this overhead noose is perfect! Why'd they have to actually pay attention to me? Dewey would have never tied this right! (Burger starts chopping down the tree) No, no! I meant carry him down, not cut him down.... with impeccable chopping technique! |
| Bouncer | Sure thing, boss! |
| Huey | Gah! No! Don't blindly listen to me, I am NOT your boss! |
| The tree falls down. Cut to Louie making his way to Doofus Drake's house. He knocks on the front door. | |
| Butler | (opens the door) Can I help you? |
| Louie | Ah, greetings. I'm Sir Louie Duck Esquire III, your well-to-do neighbor and Scrooge McDuck's only nephew. I'm here to meet fabulously wealthy Doofus Drake! Is this... his... his house? |
| Butler | No, this is the servant quarters. This way, please. |
| Louie | Wow, it's like he gets whatever he wants! |
| Butler | No one says no to master Doofus. (whispers in Louie's ear) No one. (slowly backs down to the elevator) |
| Doofus Drake appears behind Louie sucking a sundae through a straw. | |
| Louie | Oh! H-hi! Um, (clears throat) allow me to introduce myself. Sir Louie Duck Esquire III, the only nephew of Scrooge McDuck. Well, since we're so alike, you know, both solo heirs, I- I figured it was high time that we rub elbows and... |
| Doofus | Brain freeze. |
| Doofus searches through his pants while Louie frantically presses the elevator button. | |
| Doofus | Friend present. (Opens a jewelry box with a golden bracelet inside it) |
| Louie | Oh. For me? |
| Doofus | I like to play with my friends. |
| Louie | All right, friend. Heheh. Let's play! |
| Cuts to a montage of them playing together. | |
| Louie | (takes off his VR headset) Literally living the dream. |
| Louie takes pictures in a photo booth and notices Doofus smelling his hair. | |
| Doofus | You seem stressed. Come with me! |
| Doofus leads Louie to his treasure room. | |
| Doofus | This is where I come to blow off steam. |
| Louie | Is that an original Stradivarius violin?! (Doofus nods) But that- That's worth more than every house Uncle Donald has ever owned! (Doofus smashes the violin) Are you nuts?! Aren't you afraid you'll get in trouble? |
| Doofus | (casually knocks over one of his many valuable possessions) Nah. |
| Louie | Of course. Real wealth is not caring if people think you're crazy. Because they can't stop you anyway! |
| Louie and Doofus break various priceless objects, and high-five each other. | |
| Louie | Gonna ignore that sweaty palm.... |
| Doofus high fives. Louie attempts to rip a painting of an old lady holding money. | |
| Doofus | GUMMEEMAMA! |
| What? | |
| Doofus' servants | Gummeemama.... |
| Doofus | Gummeemama Francis, my dear deceased grandma who left me her entire fortune. No one touches her portrait, NO ONE! I let you eat wall cotton, you impudent brat! Are you smiling, servants? IS THIS FUNNY TO YOU?! (throws a tantrum) |
| Louie | Soooo..... You're his butler, huh? Um, my butler's a ghost. Yup. Yeah, he's dead. |
| Maid | We're dead inside. We're Doofus' parents. |
| Louie | Sorry, what? |
| Mrs. Drake | He used to be such a sweet boy, but the money and power changed him. (quietly to Louie) Go, before it's too late... |
| Doofus | (panting) What's next, friendy-friend? |
| Louie | Ah, you know, I just noticed it's getting a little late, and, uh, so I'm just gonna head home, fondly remember all the good times we had? Cool? All right, bye... |
| Doofus presses a remote causing Louie's bracelet to cling to the floor. | |
| Doofus | You are home, friend present. |
| Louie | Heeeelp! Guuuuys, I don't wanna be an only child anymore! |
| Mr. Drake | The sooner you give up, the better. Hope only makes it worse. |
| Louie | No! If the three of us work together, we might just be able to get out of here. Are you with me? |
| Doofus reenters the room. | |
| Mr. Drake | The new one's a traitor, but I stopped him out of loyalty. Because I love you, Doofus. |
| Mrs. Drake | You're pathetic. |
| Louie | No! He's lying, I would never do that! I'm your friend... present. Oh, gross. |
| Doofus | I don't think I like you anymore, new friend. Maybe you need a lesson in friendship. |
| Louie | Wait, what's that for? (Doofus takes out an umbrella and walnuts from the bag)What is he gonna do with the umbrella and walnuts?! |
| Huey and the Beagle Boys crash through the roof. | |
| Huey | Louie! |
| Louie | Ah! I'm safe! |
| Doofus | New new friends. |
| Huey and Louie screams in terror. | |
| Dewey | Whoops. Sorry, security bot. Just... innocent kids stuff. |
| DT-87 chases Dewey down the hall, and Dewey slams the bedroom door on it. | |
| Dewey | Finally alone. They'll never know my darkest secret. |
| Dewey | Live, on McDuck Manor! Home to the most celebrated duck in Duckburg, and also Scrooge McDuck. It's "Dewey Dew-Night"! Tonight. Laughs, thrills, a visit from Monsieur Saucy, and as always, the Dew Crew House Band! And now, the man of the hour: Deeeweeeeeeeey! |
| Dewey | Ahaha, thank you! Thank you very much! And welcome to the best show in this wing of the mansion. So what's going on? What's in the news? Ah, did you hear about this? I'm an only child today! (audience cheers) It's gonna be great. It's all about Dewey now! |
| Musician Dewey points at Host Dewey. | |
| Dewey | So the big question is, what "Dewey" do? |
| Musician Dewey shakes his head. | |
| Dewey | What "Dewey" do? |
| Family audience is a cardboard cutout. | |
| Dewey | Woof, audience's a little stiff tonight. Am I right, Dewey? |
| Musician Dewey makes an awkward noise. | |
| Dewey | Ahaha! That joke crashed so hard, you think it was Launchpad! (canned laughter) Nailed it, we got them back. Dewey, play me to the desk. |
| Dewey dances as he goes to the desk. | |
| Dewey | Cool cool cool cool. This is of course a sample episode of our totally amazing show. So, if you're TV producer looking for a hit so fresh, so unique, and so top-secret even my brothers can't know about it, this is the show for you. So, my first guest is.... I'm very excited.... for my first... g- Aaah, maybe should've thought about this before I kicked everyone out. Oh! |
| Dewey grabs a toy robot and a red cap. | |
| Dewey | Please give a warm round of applause to my first guest and former bro, Huey. (audience cheers) Hey, Huey, thanks for coming on the show. |
| "Huey" (Dewey) | (with a robot-like voice) Appropriate response to introductory salutation, let me check the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook.... Hello Dewey, thanks for having me! |
| Dewey | Eheh, hey, buddy, good to have you. So how are you enjoying Only Child Day? |
| "Huey" (Dewey) | I fear it deeply. Being a triplet is a way of life. Things are better in threes... Threes... Threes! |
| Dewey | Weird. Super weird! Okay, I'm gonna ask you a surge of questions here we gooo..... What's your name? |
| "Huey" (Dewey) | Huey. |
| Dewey | Do you love calendars? |
| "Huey" (Dewey) | Yes. |
| Dewey | Are you a robot? |
| "Huey" (Dewey) | Yes. I mean, no. I mean, yerp. Bleep bleep bleep! |
| Dewey | (gasps) I knew it! |
| Robo-Huey (Dewey) | Boom boom. I'm here to destroy. |
| Dewey | Aaaaaaah! |
| Robo-Huey (Dewey) | I will eat your buildings. |
| Dewey | Aaaaahhhh! |
| Robo-Huey (Dewey) | I will pet your cat, but in a very aggressive way! |
| DT-87 moves up closer to the door. | |
| Dewey | Robo-Huey is on a rampage! Now that's good television. Speaking of, my next guest, um.... my next.... (grabs a table lamp and Louie's hoodie) Ah.... |
| "Louie" (Dewey) | (with a high pitched voice) What's up, McDuck Manor? Louie in the house! (audience claps) Ho, boy! Oh, no, a robot! (audience gasps) |
| Robo-Huey (Dewey) | Destroy Duckburg. Destroy Duckburg! |
| "Louie" (Dewey) | It's attacking me, oh boy.... |
| DT-87 eyes glow red. | |
| Robo-Huey (Dewey) | Submit. Submit! |
| Dewey | Die, robot scum! Hi-yah! (kicks the robot toy) |
| "Louie" (Dewey) | Thanks, Dewey. You're my hero! |
| Dewey | Oh, stop! |
| "Louie" (Dewey) | You're no anonymous middle child, you're the unique glue that hold us brothers together. (audience awws) |
| Dewey | Comedy, action, and heart? Who wouldn't wanna watch this show? |
| A laser beam cuts the door open. | |
| DT-87 | Robotic intruder detected. |
| Dewey | My demo tape! We gotta go. (audience awws in disappointment) My apologies to Monsieur Saucy. |
| DT-87 chases Dewey into a closet. | |
| Dewey | Oh, this is bad, real bad. Huey, you got a plan, right? |
| "Huey" (Dewey) | Sorry, I'm technically you, and since you don't have a plan, neither do I. |
| Dewey | Hey, I don't need you, I'm self-sufficient! Louie, you can talk your way outta this, right? |
| "Louie" (Dewey) | Yeah, sure, no problemo. Wait, no, I'm also you, ho boy.... |
| Dewey | Stupid Only Child Day! |
| DT-87 cuts open the closet door. | |
| DT-87 | Hello, intruder. You are cornered. Perhaps you shouldn't have pushed your brothers away. Maybe appreciate the fact, because certain people would do anything to have siblings. No one you know, certain... hypothetical people. |
| Dewey | Webby, you can come out. |
| DT-87's head flips back to reveal an embarrassed Webby. | |
| Dewey | How did you get in there? |
| Webby | Oh, I just jammed it open and ripped out a bunch of wires to make room. What were you doing? |
| Dewey | Whaaat? Meee? Haha, nothing! |
|
"Louie" (Dewey) |
She knows..... |
| Dewey | Shut up, Louie.... I can't believe you're spoiling my Only Child Day. You couldn't just let me have this one thing. |
| Webby | I'm sorry, but you guys just got here. I don't want you splitting up. |
| Dewey | Webby... |
| DT-87 | Intruders detected. Put your hands in the air. (Dewey and Webby do as they're told) You have twenty seconds to comply. |
| Dewey | We're complying, why doesn't it see we're complying?! |
| Webby | I, uh, sort of cut some of it's processing circuits. |
| DT-87 | You have five seconds to comply. Four... Three... Two... |
| Webby | Dewey! |
| Dewey climbs on DT-87's back and rides him all the way to Doofus Drake's mansion. | |
| Dewey | Huey! Louie! |
| Huey | Beagle Boys. |
| Louie | Psycho rich kid. |
| Dewey | Haywire robot. |
| The triplets | Brothers again? Brothers again. Triple threat! |
| Doofus | Gimme, gimme, for my gimme tree! |
| Dewey | Robot, activate protocol save me! |
| Doofus | You're funny. I'm keeping you. |
| Dewey | Gah! |
| DT-87 shoot's Doofus's bracelet away. | |
| Huey | Just a quick rewiring of the manifold. |
| Bouncer | One of us, one of us.... |
| Big Time | You two jerks are gonna help me kidnap those boys, or I'm gonna scald you with more than soup! |
| Bouncer | I'd rather be soup-blinded than have to stare at your dumb face! |
| Louie | Hey! If there's one thing I know, it's that you hate each other. You yell at each other, you fight with each other, you fail Ma Beagle with each other. Because you're Beagle Boys. And who in this world can antagonize you more than your own brother? |
| Big Time | Oh, please. Like that's gonna- |
| Bouncer | Let's never not fight again. |
| Big Time | Gaah, heeey.... |
| DT-87 cut a hole in the front entrance. | |
| Webby | You guys! Are you brothers again, or.... did this whole thing happen in another dimension.... AND YOU'RE ALL EVIL DOPPELGANGERS?! |
| Huey & Dewey | No-no-no! Definitely brothers! |
| Louie | Whatever makes you not hurt me! |
| Webby | So you're not gonna break up? |
| Dewey | Of course not! We never were. We need each other. |
| Huey | Yeah. I love being a triplet, but we still have to be our own people. |
| Louie | Well, I guess Only Child Day wasn't an absolute disaster after all. |
| Dewey | Eeehhh, sibling calendaaaar? |
| Huey | I'm a hundred percent sure I'm going to regret this, but fine. |
| Dewey | All right, Louie, we did it! |
| Huey | Pretty sure Louie was with me on this. |
| Louie | I still have two more hours of only child day you guys figure it out. |
| Huey | Good point. Au revoir, strangers! |
| Dewey | So, uuuh, how much did you see? You know when you... when you came into my room. |
| Webby | Oh, nothing. |
| Dewey | Good. |
|
Webby |
Dewey Dew-Night. Do do do do do, (whispering) bud do ba ba ba Dewey Dew Night! |