Transcript[]
| The episode opens on a beautiful morning at McDuck Manor. Scrooge McDuck wakes up from his sleep, puts on his slippers and dressing gown and goes to open the window. | ||
| Scrooge | Ahh! Good morning, you gleaming bit of bounty. | |
| He stares out of it, looking at his Money Bin in the distance. Suddenly, Mrs Beakley enters the room carrying a tea tray, looking disheveled with several foam-darts stuck to her. | ||
| Scrooge | Beakley?! | |
| Beakley | I feel I should prepare you for what's out there. (She starts pouring tea.) | |
| Scrooge | How bad can it be? Lid left off the peanut butter. Errant roller skate left on the stairway. | |
| As Scrooge opens the door, a bunch of foam-darts fly towards him. He quickly grabs Beakley's tea tray and shields himself from the darts, causing the tea set to fly into the air and Beakley to catch it. | ||
| Scrooge | An elaborate series of cutthroat war games. | |
| Huey is running away from a dart-shooting Dewey. | ||
| Dewey | Take that! (shoots dart gun) | |
| Scrooge | Dewey! (takes gun and aims it) Don't yell at your target before you fire. You lose the element of surprise. | |
| Scrooge hands the gun back to Dewey and walks off. Louie runs past him and shoots at Dewey while laughing, hitting the wall and a vase which Mrs. Beakley dives to catch. | ||
| Louie | Good hands, Beakley! (dodges darts then returns fire) | |
| Beakley | When I said you should spend more time with your family, I did not mean move them in. | |
| Through infrared/night vision, we see Louie running down the hall laughing. A shadowy figure wearing night vision goggles hangs from the chandelier. | ||
| Webby | Target acquired. | |
| As Louie stops in the middle of the hall, Webby (still in shadow) uses a grapple gun to grapple to the chandelier above. She fires on Louie, prompting him to run and trigger a trap that throws pillows at him, knocking him to the ground. | ||
| Louie | You set traps?! It's just a game! | |
| Webby | You're not a player, you're a pawn. | |
| Dewey | Woah, Webby, maybe take it down a notch. | |
| Webby | TELL THAT TO MY MEN YOU CAPTURED IN PEKING! | |
| Dewey | What? | |
| Webby | It's part of my character's backstory. Grizzled ex-special forces pulled out of retirement for revenge. What's yours? | |
| Dewey | ...My guy has a dart gun? | |
| Webby | Not anymore. | |
| She shoots Dewey, knocking him down and sending his dart gun flying. Webby then throws her guns away and uses her grapple hook to pull Dewey's gun to her. | ||
| Webby | Ha ha! | |
| Huey comes across the scene and Webby fires at him. He flees to the foyer in panic. | ||
| Huey | The foyer's a safe zone! The foyer's a-- AH! (gets tackled) | |
| Webby | This is no foyer... this is a tomb. | |
| Cut to Scrooge walking along the hallway. | ||
| Huey (offscreen) | Ow! My tailbone! | |
| Scrooge | Heh-heh... "a tomb"... (laughs to himself) | |
| Beakley | Sir, this is out of control! | |
| Scrooge | Kids will be kids. For everyone's happiness, we've all got to make sacrifices. | |
| He opens the door to his washroom, pausing when he sees Donald washing himself in the bathtub. | ||
| Donald | Um, ocupado! | |
| Scrooge | House meeting. NOW! | |
| Cue intro and opening theme. | ||
| Donald and the kids are talking with each other. In the background, Scrooge walks up to an object covered with a cloth and smacks it with his cane, silencing everyone. | ||
| Scrooge | Alright! Time for some house rules. | |
| He pulls the cloth off, revealing a blackboard with "HOUSE RULES" written on it. | ||
| Scrooge | Rule one, my space is my space. My study, my sleeping quarters... (Donald rolls his eyes) My washroom. Rule two... Defer to Mrs. Beakley for all subsequent rules. I'm pleased to have you here, as long as it in no way inconveniences me. Good day. | |
| Beakley | This may be Mr. McDuck's mansion, but it's my house. So... | |
| She flips the board, revealing a lot more rules. | ||
| Beakley | My house rules. Exhaustive. Comprehensive. Where are you going? | |
| Donald | I've got unmentionables to wash. | |
| Beakley | (sighs) Rule 58: If you need something, ask for permission first. | |
| Donald | Did you hear that, boys? Ask permission! | |
| Beakley | Rule number 23: No one is above the rules. Donald. If you had simply asked for assistance we could've avoided what I'm referring to as the "Undergarment Incident." | |
| The boys and Webby giggle offscreen. | ||
| Donald | I can take care of myself. | |
| Beakley | That is not your decision to make. You live here, you answer to me. | |
| Donald | I answer to no one! | |
| Both of them glare at each other. | ||
| Louie | Wait, are they gonna kiss? | |
| Huey, Dewey and Webby | Ew! | |
| Donald and Beakley | Outside, now! | |
| The kids run outside into the backyard and past Donald's houseboat. | ||
| Webby | Death Darts was fun! | |
| Louie | Again, just supposed to be darts. | |
| Webby | Oh, what do you wanna play next? Mystery Murder Island, Cannonball Fury? | |
| Huey | How about a nice, safe nap? | |
| Webby | Ooh, how about Hacky-Sack? | |
| She punts the sack at them. Dewey dives to push Huey out of the way, it buzzes Louie's head, some feathers fall, and goes clean through the tree behind them, knocking it down. Everyone stares in silence. | ||
| Louie | Or we could have some real fun. | |
| Dewey | You mean... | |
| Louie | I do, dear Dewford. | |
| Huey, Dewey and Louie | It's time for Funso's Fun Zone! | |
| Webby | What's that? | |
| Louie | Only the greatest place one could ever imagine imagining! | |
| Huey | Where dreams become reality, and reality becomes some kind of crazy hyper-dream! | |
| Dewey | Where punch refills are free! | |
| All three in unison | Funso's Fun Zone! Where fun is in the zone! | |
| Webby | Oh yeah, that Funso's. Of course. Huh. Everyone knows Funso's... | |
| Louie | Let's go, boys! | |
| Webby | Oh. Well, have fun. | |
| Dewey | You coming? | |
| Webby | What? Yeah! Let me get my stuff! | |
| She climbs McDuck Manor like a spider, disappearing into an open window. | ||
| Louie | I don't know. Webby's great for treasure hunting and minecart-chases, but she's not exactly built for every-day kid stuff. | |
| Huey (traumatised) | I still see the darts when I close my eyes. | |
| Dewey | She's been cooped up in the mansion her whole life. Of course, she's going to be a little off. But we can help her. She'll be fine. | |
| Meanwhile, Webby is packing her night-vision goggles, grapple hook and a book titled "The Art of War" into her bag. | ||
| Webby | Alright, Webby, just a totally casual hang-out in the real world. Like regular kids do. Play it cool, play it cool. | |
| She screams "Whoo!" while jumping out of the window - cut to the bus stop, where she's still screaming. The boys look embarrassed. | ||
| Back at the manor, Beakley is vacuuming up the remains of the dart battle until her vacuum cleaner stops. She unplugs one of the plugs from the wall, seeing another one (of many) short-circuit. Meanwhile, Donald is singing while barbecuing a sausage and cleaning his houseboat, until Beakley storms up to the houseboat. | ||
| Donald | Howdy, neighbor. Kielbasa? I'll just live by the boat while I fix it. Out of your house, out of your way. | |
| Beakley | Causing several fire hazards. If you have checked with me, I could have provided safe electrical hook-ups. | |
| Donald | I'm good. | |
| Beakley | And how would you like to split the water bill? | |
| Donald | Wha? Richest duck in the world can't spare a dime. Keep your water. | |
| Donald clamps down on hose causing water backup to flood Scrooge's bathroom. | ||
| Scrooge | Nooooo--! | |
| Beakley breaks the extension cord in half. Cut to the kids waiting at a bus stop. Webby can barely contain her excitement. | ||
| Huey | You've been on a bus before, right? | |
| Webby | Absolutely. So is it assigned seating, or uh... | |
| Huey | Don't talk to anybody, don't touch anything, don't lick anything, don't go near the emergency brake. | |
| Webby | (salutes) I'm Webby. (to driver) Have you ever jumped a ravine in this baby? Can I try? I'm Webby. (looks out the window) Look, a dog, wearing a bow tie. Did he tie it himself? Stop the bus! | |
| Webby pulls the signal cord. Driver throws Webby and the boys out of the bus. | ||
| Webby | It was a nice bow tie. Sorry. | |
| Huey | I-it's fine. | |
| Dewey | It's just a short walk to Funso's. | |
| Huey | Through the sketchiest neighborhood in town. | |
| Webby | Bet it's a faster run. Race ya! | |
| Huey | Uh, wrong way. | |
| Webby | Whoop. | |
| Bouncer | Hey! Is that the McDuck brats? | |
| Big Time | Let's get 'em! | |
| Burger shakes his head | ||
| Bouncer | Burger's right. Ma told us we's supposed to take down the truck. | |
| Big Time | Oh, forget the truck. That's the payday. Think big. | |
| Bouncer smiles widely, before tossing Carl (the guard) into the truck. | ||
| Bouncer | Sorry, Carl. Same time next month? | |
| Webby (in awe) | Funso's Fun Zone. | |
| Boys | (singing) Where fun is in the zone. | |
| Webby | Pizza? Games? A pit of balls? | |
| Louie | Sweet Webbigail, ball pits are for babies. Walk with me. You're in the zone now. If you want to get by in this world, you gotta know the people that make it spin. Josie, new token apron? Nice. | |
| Waitstaff | Your usual table, sir. | |
| Louie | Merci, Toby. Webby, your money is no good here. | |
| Webby | What do they take? I have pounds, pesos, rubles. | |
| Louie | The oldest currency in the world. | |
| Webby | Ancient obsidian rune stones? | |
| Louie | No, flattery. (He says as a female waitress walks toward him) I can't tell. Is that the heat lamps, or your natural glow? | |
| Waitstaff | Oh, Mr. Duck, the usual? | |
| Louie | Yep. One free cup for water, please. | |
| Louie fills the cup with fruit punch while the waitstaff isn't looking. | ||
| Webby | That's not water! | |
| Louie | It's all part of the system. You try. | |
| Webby | Hey, uh (reads name tag) Ja-nay. | |
| Waitstaff | It's Jane. | |
| Webby | I'm Webby. I was hoping you could hook a girl up with one of those free water cups. You know, (winks) fruit punch. | |
| Jane | You sure you don't want it for water? | |
| Webby | Yes, for water. Fruity water... that really packs a punch. (double wink) Am I right? | |
| Jane | I-I don't know what you mean. | |
| Webby | (whispers) I mean fruit punch. | |
| Manager | Is there a problem here? What did I tell you about handing out freebies, Jane? You pay for that punch, Duck? | |
| Louie | Yeah, I was just about to. Yeah. (chuckles) Thanks, Webby. | |
| Delivery | Special delivery for D. Duck. | |
| Donald | Come around back! Portable generators. Keep your power, Mrs B. I'm off the grid. | |
| Beakley | That idiot is going to get himself killed. (smiles, chuckling to herself) | |
| Funso | Welcome to Funso's! There' no place finer! But all cool adults must be accompanied by a minor. Ba blee ba blam! | |
| The Beagle Boys had dressed Bouncer like a little girl with a lollipop. | ||
| Bouncer | You buying this? | |
| Funso shakes his head no, Bouncer breaks the lollipop in two and attacks him. Webby enters arcade and sees Dewey playing a video game. | ||
| Webby | Uke or Puke? | |
| Dewey | Behold, the best game ever created! Japanese import. There's only one in the US, and I have the top ten scores, so I'm pretty much the best in the country. You gotta try this. | |
| Webby | I don't know. I've never actually played a, um, computer game. | |
| Dewey | Do you play an instrument? | |
| Webby | I had seven years of cello. | |
| Dewey | Same thing. | |
| Webby tries to stand the controller on the floor. Dewey corrects her by putting it around her. Webby plays it. | ||
| Dewey | Your first strum. Cherish it. | |
| Game | Oi. goin dame da dame dame. | |
| Dewey | Yes, yes, be one with the flow. | |
| Game | Pu-ke kudasai. | |
| Webby | I am both uking and puking! | |
| The Beagle Boys dressed as Funso try to grab Webby. | ||
| Funso | Time for... | |
| Webby | Strangers are danger! | |
| Dewey | Webby, no! | |
| Funso trips over the power cord, unplugging it. | ||
| Webby (gasp) | I killed Funso! | |
| Dewey | No, no! Don't you die on me! | |
| Game | Dame da dame dame. | |
| Dewey | My scores! Noooo! It's like I don't even know you anymore. | |
| Mrs. Beakley watches Donald maintain his generators and start a fire he can't maintain, he runs in the houseboat frantically. | ||
| Beakley | (To Scrooge) Perhaps we can put your nephew up in a hotel. In New Zealand. | |
| Scrooge | No time. Guest bath's a-callin'. Beakley problem. | |
| Webby belly flops sadly into the ball pit. | ||
| Webby | Ow. | |
| Louie | Room for three more? | |
| Webby | You guys aren't mad I ruined Funso's? | |
| Louie | Please, Funso's is a place of magic and wonder and light. | |
| Dewey | Think fast! | |
| Webby | Wait. What's happening? | |
| Huey | Nope, you're fine. | |
| Webby | It's a trap! I'm sinking! Ahhh! | |
| Webby fires a grappling hook which pops a balloon, breaks a spotlight, and pulls down a palm tree causing a fire. She's confronted by the manager as she pulls herself out, she cringes a smile and extends her hand. | ||
| Webby | Haha, I'm Webby. | |
| Manager | You are banned from Funso's for life! | |
| Huey | No, please, I've never been kicked out of anything. | |
| Louie | And this is why we shouldn't bring her. So, thanks, Dewey. | |
| Manager | Funso, take them out. | |
| Funso | With pleasure. Call ma. (sinister laughter) | |
| Someone approaches Funso's and opens the door. | ||
| Manager | You can't come in without a child! | |
| The person punches him in the stomach and walks past him, to the fear of the other parents and children. | ||
| ??? | Everybody out! | |
| They dunk a man's head into his ice cream, flip the waitresses tray into her face and open the door to find the Beagle Boys standing there. | ||
| Big Time | This is it, Ma! The big day! The perfect scam! The- | |
| Ma | Save it! What's so important that I don't see an armored car parked out front? | |
| Big Time | May I present our new meal ticket. (improvised drum roll) Scrooge McDuck's family! | |
| Ma Beagle opens the door to see Huey, Dewey, Louie and Webby tied up inside the locker. They scream and shout until Ma shuts the door. | ||
| Ma | (sighs) Oh, and how did you manage this? | |
| Big Time | Well, we cornered 'em, we captured 'em, and we sent him (Scrooge) a ransom note. | |
| Ma | You did what? | |
| Donald gets hit with a ransom note tied to a brick. | ||
| Ma Beagle | (rubs temples) How did someone so brilliant raise such morons? | |
| Bouncer | (to Burger) I think she's talkin'bout you. | |
| Big Time | But, but Scrooge will pay a fortune to get them ankle biters back. | |
| Ma Beagle | (hits Big Time with her purse) You think he got to be the richest duck in Duckburg by paying people off? You just painted four twerp-sized targets on our backs. Bouncer, Burger, go wait outside. | |
| Big Time | What about me, Ma? | |
| Big Time gets thrown in the meat locker with the kids. | ||
| Ma Beagle | You're on a timeout, mister. | |
| Huey | Who are these guys? | |
| Webby | The Beagle Boys. They hate your uncle. Try to break in to the mansion all the time. | |
| Dewey | Are they going to ransom us? | |
| Louie | Scrooge will never pay for all four of us. | |
| Webby | Ah, you're right. He'll probably throw one of off a cliff to send Scrooge a message. | |
| Boys (gasp) | Aaahh! | |
| Donald wakes up and notices the ransom note. | ||
| Donald | (groans in pain as he reads the note and runs to the bathroom) Scrooge, the kids! The Beagle Boys! | |
| Scrooge | Wait. Something's wrong. (replaces cucumbers and bath water with gold coins) Much better. | |
| Donald | Ms. B., a brick, a note! | |
| Beakley | Look who's back to finally coming to ask for my-- | |
| Donald | HELP!!! | Donald shoves the ransom note to Beakley. |
| Beakley | (reads note) What is a Funso? | |
| Big Time | "Don't capture Scrooge's brats, Big Time. Don't stick up the policeman's ball, Big Time. Tanks don't float, Big Time." She always treats me like the odd man out, because my ideas are too-- | |
| Webby | ||
| Big Time | Visionary. Well, I'll show her. I'll show 'em all. | |
| Louie | Well that's not something you want to hear when you're tied up in a meat locker. | |
| Big Time | Startin' with you! | |
| Webby hits Big Time in the head with a frozen pizza. | ||
| Boys | Webby? | |
| Webby | Oops. Sorry. I'll just... | |
| Huey | You could slip out of those ropes the whole time? | |
| Webby | Well, yeah. That's, like, Being Captured 101. | |
| Louie | So why didn't you? | |
| Webby | Because, I didn't want you to think I'm weird. I've been stuck in the mansion for so long, and I'm trying really hard to be normal. But everything I do is, you know, not. | |
| Dewey | Normal's overrated. | |
| Louie | We need you to be Webby-normal. | |
| Huey and Dewey nod in agreement. Webby drops her rope, unties the boys, and dons a pair of night-vision goggles. | ||
| Webby | I'm going to break every bone in her body. Or maybe just tie her up. We'll see how it plays out. | |
| Webby uses a sausage as a boomerang to open an air grate. The four climb in it.' | ||
| Ma Beagle | Alright, boys. McDuck's highfalutin hooligan Beakley is coming here to take you down. Are you going to let her? | |
| Burger | Hmm.... | |
| Ma Beagle | No, you are not. Beakley may be strong, ruthless, and unforgiving, but you are the Beagle Boys. My boys. It's time to mark your territory. | |
| Burger and Bouncer stare blankly, then to each other. Ma rolls her eyes at them. | ||
| Ma Beagle | Do it for your dear old ma. | |
| A different ransom note is chucked out the door. | ||
| Ma Beagle | (reads note) Dear Ma Beagle, if you ever want to see your son again... (rolls eyes) Oh, for cryin' out loud. | |
| Mrs. Beakley and Donald drive up. | ||
| Ma Beagle | You take care of them. I'll deal with the squirts. | |
| Beakley | Beagle boys are slow, but quite large, I'll take the big one and... Donald? | |
| Donald | GIVE ME BACK MY BOYS! | |
| Donald goes berserk and beats up both Burger and Bouncer. | ||
| Bouncer (in pain) | Get off me! Whoa... | |
| Beakley | Hm? I guess he can take care of himself. (charges) | |
| The interior is cloaked in darkness. Ma Beagle sees Webby scurrying around. | ||
| Ma Beagle | C'mon kid, I don't have time for games. | |
| Webby | Then you're in the wrong place. (singing) Funso's Fun Zone... Where the fun is in the zone... | |
| Ma Beagle | Oh! You can't outrun me. You know how many two foot-terrors I chased around the junkyard? | |
| Webby | But I'm not outrunning you. Whee! I'm leading you. | |
| Webby leads Ma Beagle to the ball pit. Big Time is suspended over it. | ||
| Big Time | Hi, Ma. | |
| Ma Beagle | Seriously, Big Time? Wha-- what the... Stupid plastic garbage. Wait, no, stop. It's a trap! | |
| Webby | I know, right? Now! | |
| The boys pull the rope, trapping Ma Beagle in a net. Donald and Ms. Beakley enter and turn on the lights. | ||
| Donald | Boys! | |
| Beakley | A slip stitch. Good choice, dear. | |
| Webby | Thanks, Granny. | |
| Big Time | It's okay, Ma. I tried and that's what matters, right? | |
| Ma Beagle | Shut up, Big Time. | |
| Big Time | Why can't we have what they have? | |
| Back at the mansion, Ms. Beakley opens the fuse box. | ||
| Beakley | Now, flip the circuit on the boat's circuit and you'll have power. | |
| Donald | Thanks, Mrs. B. Hey, how does a housekeeper know so much about electricity and Tae Kwan Do? | |
| Ms. Beakley | Oh, simple. I'm a spy. | |
| Both laugh heartily, then awkwardly. | ||
| Huey | Nice of Funso's to lift the ban and give us all those free tokens, you know, to keep us from suing them. | |
| Louie | Yep, the system works. | |
| Dewey | So, what should we do next? | |
| Huey | I don't know. Webby? What do you want to play? | |
| Webby | Really? You mean it? | |
| Louie | Any crazy thing you want. | |
| Webby | Oh, how about a nice game of... Medieval Dungeon of Eternal Screaming!? | |
| Boys | (in unison) I'm on Webby's team! |