DuckTales Wiki
DuckTales Wiki


Transcript[]

 (Christmas Intro)
Donald Deck the lawn with tons of snowmen, fa-la-la-la-la,la-la-la-la!
Scrooge Hey! Get those inflatable abominations off my lawn!
Donald Waah! But you have the perfect yard for a winter wonderland!
Scrooge  I also have a pilot that can't tell the difference between Christmas lights and landing lights.
Donald gulps.
(The camera zooms in on Donald, Donald trys to remove the decorating. Scrooge closes the door and goes inside, following a crash.)
Webby Tinsel! Holly! Novelty Ornaments! Pure Christmas magic.
Huey I have some notes on your ornament distribution.
Webby Magic!
(Scrooge grumbles pushing past)
Louie Dear Santa. Look, I can explain! What...hey!
Mrs.Beakly Christmas Eve dinner will be served promptly at 8:15, followed by the annual screening of Christmas on Bear Mountain at 9:08, and I've reset the cryptid traps. Don't want another pesky sugar plum fairy infestation this year.
Scrooge

(Steps on a mouse Trap) Yow! Bah, Crass commercialism, empty sentiment and all the trappings of the holiday! And the endless monuments to that reindeer rustling, red suited rube. (sees Santa statue) Who put this up?

Everyone points at each other. Donald backs away.
Scrooge Grr. Take that, you no kind off trader. Not so lively and quick now are you? Bah, humbug.
Webby (gasp) He said it!
Scrooge I'm going to bed.
Dewey (sigh) Merry Christmas, Mom.
Donald Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la. huh? Oh, um. we're about to sing some Christmas carols. C'mon.
Dewey I'm not really in the merry mood.
Donald Yeah, sure. Okay, well if you change your mind. (sigh)
Dewey Yah, c'mon!
Christmas spirits Scrooge, Scrooge, Scrooge, Scrooge, Scrooge, Woo who! Yeah, what a man!
Scrooge Uh... Back foul specters! Shoo!
Dewey Get back, Grim Reaper! You won't take my incredibly old uncle today.
Present Ha ha, and I thought we had spirit. Get it? Because we're ghosts.
Past Oh dear, a party crasher. I suppose it's a slight break in tradition, but-
Present The more the merrier.
Dewey I am more confused than usual.
Scrooge Uh, Dewey, meet the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. Years ago, they accidentally haunted my home.
Dewey Accidentally?
Present Yeah, we were looking for a different Scrooge, but your uncle was way more fun.
Dewey But you hate Christmas.
Scrooge That's a bit of act. I have so many responsibilities throughout the year. My family, my business, secretly keeping the world eating serpent Jormungandr at bay.
Dewey The what?
Scrooge I just need one night a year when I can really cut loose.
Past so, every Christmas Eve, we use my trusty timebrella to go back and revisit the best Christmas parties history has to offer!
Dewey So, you don't actually hate ornaments?
Scrooge Not really.
Dewey And candy canes?
Scrooge No.
Dewey And Santa Claus?
Scrooge No! that churlish chimney chaser is not to be trusted. I love having you all here, but I need a break now and then. You understand?
Donald Cast a bell, cast a bell, we go cast a bell.
Dewey Yes, one hundred percent. I'll keep it quiet, this time.
Present So, where's the party?
Past Ah ah! When's the party?
Scrooge Ugh, time travelers.
Past Take heed, rise, and walk with me.
All Woo hoo!
Scrooge So, where to first? A totally happening Andy Warthog's factory? Leveling with the rebels? Crossing the Delaware? Right back where we started?
Past But not back when we started. For you see...
Present Yeah, we get it. It's the past.
Past (gasping for breath)
Scrooge Young me.
Young Scrooge Old me.
Scrooge Bless me yesterdays, it's-
Past
Scrooge Ah this was a right corker. I just started my company and the future was bright.
Present Really? I always thought Future was kind of grim.
Scrooge Everyone was at the most carefree and joyous evening-
Partygoers Twenty-two! Twenty-two! Twenty-two! Twenty-two!
Beakley Oohh, hah! hah! Yes!
Partygoers Wooo!
Present Oh, I gots to party with that lady.
Scrooge Step aside, Twenty-two. Let a Scotsman show you-
Duckworth You're a captain of industry with your own company now. The point of this soiree is to network. Strengthen business ties. Not fritter away the night in feckless revolt.
Scrooge So, enjoying the party?
Buzzards I don't know. Interesting question. No.
Present That's why I live in the now, you know? What we have is this moment now, and-
Beakley Not interested. I like your cloak. Conga line!
Bradford I'm saying given the current economic downturn, having a Christmas that is both holly and jolly isn't fiscally responsible.
Scrooge I thought we were taking a break. What good is a party if I have to work at it?
Present This party is as dead as he is.
Scrooge Maybe we should go.
Past Fellows, no! Christmases were so much better back then, now. Look at all these cheery faces of the past.
Scrooge Eh, I suppose I could mingle. Look at them all. I invited everyone to this party.
Past That's right, Scrooge. Everyone.
Scrooge Bless me bagpipes. Goldie.
Rhutt Betlah Mr. McDuck. Professor Rhutt Betlah, and have I got a Christmas present for you.
Scrooge Yes, what a lovely rock. Now-
Rmutt Betlam A perfectly square rock. Procured at some great personal risk in the Andes. Now, I'm looking for someone to finance an expedition.
Scrooge What? No. Get out of my- eugh!
Partygoers Mr.McDuck! A moment of your time, sir.
Captain Farley Foghorn Mr. McDuck, have I got an investment for you.
Scrooge Move! Ah even back then all everyone wanted was a piece of my fortune.
Past Oh come now, Scrooge. Not everyone here is looking for a handout.
Grandpappy Beagle McDuck, I've come to take your money, and reclaim Beagleburg for my kids!
Past Some of them just want to rob you.
Grandpappy Beagle Bankjob! Babyface! Bugle! Take everything that ain't nailed down.
Present Hey, you guys go on without me. I'm going to stick with this crazy party brawl. Wha ha!
Scrooge Ugh, looks like the party's over. Let's just get back to my family and-
Past NO! I mean, you deserve a break. It's Christmas. Give it one more shot. I know the perfect party. No family, no business, no responsibility. Oh, please please please.
Scrooge Well, I...
Past Woo! Thank you.
Scrooge Is this?
Past Your first Christmas in Duckberg before family and fortune and business harassed. It's the perfect Christmas, just like you asked.
Scrooge Ah, that is more like it. No more nagging responsibilities. Silent night, indeed. Curse me kilts, this is boring. Now I see your lesson, Specter. The minor frustrations of your life pale in comparison to the excitement they bring. Hearth, home, family: that's what Christmas is all about. No more living in the past. Take me back, Spirit.
Past No.
Scrooge What's that then?
Past Every year I spend my Christmas showing selfish ingrates the true meaning of Christmas, only to be ditched the following year because they have to "look after Tiny Tim" or whatever. Bleh. But you were different. You always came back to us, and then your family moved in.
Scrooge Grr...
Past How long before you decide to have Christmas with them, and I get left behind AGAIN?!
Scrooge Whah!
Past So I put you back where nothing, not even my fellow spirits, could distract you from this glorious Christmas past. Then we can live it over, and over, and over together forever. Ah, ha ha hah!
Scrooge Take that you wistful wisp! You know, this is an amazing fight.
Past I know, right?
Scrooge What I wouldn't give to do it all over again.
Past Nostalgia for a fight that started a minute ago? Now that's living in the past. Let's do it! Oh, man this is going to be great! Ah, where was I, oh right. Every year-
Scrooge snatched Past's timebrella and uses it.
Past Ha ha, good one, Scrooge. Get back here, or should I say get back now. ha ha ha. Scrooge? Uh, he'll, he'll be back.
11 minutes ago... in the future
Past Take heed, rise, and walk with me.
Dewey Back where I started? But maybe not back when I started. Ha ha, good one, time-traveler Dewey. Okay, if this is really the past, then I can finally spend Christmas with... some weird emo kid?
Young Donald (singing) I say no, but you said stay, you can't tell me what to do, don't understand a word say, so phooey! phooey! phooey on you!
Dewey Uncle Donald?
Donald Who are you? How much did you hear? Did you like it? Answer me!
Dewey Oh um, my name is... Bluey, your fifteenth step-cousin on your great-grandmother's niece's side from Canada, eh?
Donald Oh, this is the most confusing family.
Dewey Well, if you're here, where's your sister?
Donald Della? Same place she is every year. Camped out back looking for Santa.
Dewey She's right out back? C'mon, you gotta help me find her.
Donald No thanks. Christmas is a bunch of kids stuff. Plus I'm this close to writing the perfect song.
Dewey You're really not. Snatch! (takes Donald's guitar)
Donald Hey! What's the big idea?
Dewey I'm coming, Mom! (gasp)
Donald Gimme that. Aw man, it's all out of tune.
Dewey Stop. Della's not here. I think she was attacked. (sees Donald lick the red stain on the tree) Ew!
Donald Attacked by a case of the munchies. It's just jelly.
Dewey What would you have done if it wasn't?
Donald Ah, why is Della making such a big deal out of this? She packed way too much food. She brought a family-sized tent that she couldn't even set up by herself. (tries to fix tent) Ugh, ow!
Dewey How do you explain this? (points to two sets of footprints one significantly larger than the other)
Donald Well, that is weird. Ow. Ow. Ow!
Dewey So Della must take you on awesome adventures all the time, huh?
Donald Ah please, I'm a little too mature for adventures with my sister. I'm more of the soulful devil-may-care loner type.
Dewey Oh, totally, me too.
Donald Ahh!
Dewey But Della is amazing, right? I mean, why wouldn't you want to go on a Christmas adventure with her?
Donald She wanted me to, but well, why aren't you with your family?
Dewey The answer to that is complicated, and full of paradoxes.
Donald Ah, Della's tracks end here, but the others keep going.
Dewey Maybe he gave her a piggyback ride?
Donald I gave Della this scarf last Christmas. She never would have left it behind a mess. That's not Santa Claus.
Wendigo Wendigo!
Donald Dewey Aahhh!!
Donald (panting) Ow, deck your halls, you big palooka! Ahh!
Donald Dewey Aah! Ugh!
Donald and Dewey get caught in a net trap
Dewey What is happening?
Della You're not Santa Claus.
Donald Della, you no good wreckless (incoherent)
Dewey Della?
Della Squawk, squawk, squawk. Look who decided to come camping? Just had to trip one of my Santa traps. One day I'll catch that ho-ho-hooligan and give Uncle Scrooge the best Christmas gift ever. This dummy in your dumb band too?
Donald I am a solo act.
Wendigo Wendigo!
Dewey What is that thing?
Della I guess a wendigo. Legend has it that they're poor souls turned into monsters by obsession and desperation.
Donald Hurry up, and get us down Dumb-bella!
Della No, not until you apologize.
Donald For what?
Della Wrong answer.
Dewey Donald!
Donald Okay, I'm sorry I called you Dumb-bella.
Della Try again.
Donald Oh okay. Sorry I used your toothbrush to clean my combat boots.
Della You did what? You don't even know what you did wrong. Typical Donald.
Donald How could I have done anything wrong? I haven't seen you all night.
Dewey (gasp) That's what you did wrong. That's why she packed the extra food, and the family-sized tent, and left her scarf behind for you to follow her. She didn't care about finding Santa. She just wanted to spend Christmas with you, but you're too caught up in your own thing to notice. Locked up in your own room. Ignoring everybody, and I have a lot of apologizing to do when I get back.
Donald Della, I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have ditched you on Christmas.
Della cuts them down.
Dewey Uagh, Oof!
Della All right ugly. What do you want?
Wendigo Wendigo! Scrooge!
Kids Of course.
Donald and Della fight the Wendigo which leads to Donald's guitar getting broken. Enraged Donald pushes Wendigo into a net that Dewey and Della prepared.
Donald (gasp) Wahoo! Quackarooni!
Dewey Now what?
The kids drag Wendigo to the front of the mansion.
Donald Um, listen Della. I really am sorry. I promise we'll never spend another Christmas apart.
Della Thanks for helping us back there. (gets hugged by Dewey) Uh, this is weird.
Dewey Sorry. I've just always wanted to spend Christmas with my... fifteenth step-cousin on my great-grandmother's niece's side, that was it.
Della You're a relative from the future, aren't you?
Dewey What? No!
Donald Uh uh, please. We're the Duck family.
Della This is only like the fourth weirdest thing that's happened to us on Christmas.
Dewey Okay, well I gotta warn you about what's gonna happen in the future-
Donald No! Keep your mouth shut.
Della You can't warn us about our future. You'll disrupt the time stream.
Donald Haven't you ever seen any movie?
Dewey Oh yeah.
Della Stay here. We'll go get Uncle Scrooge to take care of the beast.
Wendigo (frees himself) Scrooge!
Scrooge Here, you nostalgic night terror.
Dewey Uncle Scrooge?
Scrooge I was flying these two back home through time, when I spotted you down here. What in blazes are you doing here? Now, you could have been-
Dewey Can we please just go back to our family?
Wendigo's outer shell crumbles to reveal...
Present Past?
Scrooge Wendigos: poor souls turned into monsters by obsession and desperation. He's been lost in these woods this whole time. Every Christmas eve, waiting for me. I'm going to give an old friend a present. No one gets left behind on Christmas.
Past You mean it? Take heed, rise, and walk with me.
Kids (trying to set a bear trap for Santa) Whoh, ha ha ha.
Donald Welcome back.
Kids Woo hoo! Ha ha ha.
Launchpad (singing) On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, twelve days of Christmas, eleven planes of flying, ten days of Christmas, eight days of Christmas, oops, forgot the ninth day, seven samurai, six comes after seven,
All (singing) Lots of Christmas days, four Christmas days, three Christmas days, two Christmas days, and a partridge of returning.
Dewey Gah, nailed it.
(Cut to the Moon with the wreckage of the Spear of Selene and Della's inside a pod, looking at her copy of the picture of herself, Donald and Scrooge with the three eggs.)
Della Merry Christmas, you guys. See you soon.
(Della nearly drops a tear but stops , reapplies her goggles and continues working with a blowtorch on a mysterious object.)