Transcript[]
| Johnny | (on TV) I'm Johnny, the brains of the outfit. |
| Randy | (on TV) And I'm his twin brother, Randy, the handsome one. |
| Johnny
(on TV) And we got ahead by building furniture. | |
| Randy
(on TV) For your feet. | |
| Johnny and Randy
Welcome to our Ottoman Empire! | |
| Louie | Ugh. This show is so dumb! |
| Scrooge | You could always just turn off the telly. |
| Louie | Oh, the remote's way over there. |
| [Louie grunts as he reaches for the remote.] | |
| Louie | Oh, forget it. |
| Scrooge | Any big plans for today? |
| [Louie yawns.] | |
| Louie | Thought I might move to the big TV in a few hours. You know... |
| [Louie belches, then reaches for a can of Pep. Louie opens it and takes a sip. Louie sighs.] | |
| Louie | Hey, do we have any more Pep? |
| Scrooge | You've got six full cans right there. |
| Louie | I only like that first sip. Peak carbonation. Never mind, I'll call Beakley. Oh, man, my phone's dead. Guess I gotta buy a new one |
| Scrooge | Just charge it! |
| Louie | Eh, this one's three months old anyway. Who cares? We're rich |
| Scrooge | No. I'm rich! That's it, laddie. You are coming to the office to learn the value of a hard day's work! |
| [Scrooge drags away Louie by his hood. Dewey sneaks into Webby's room and starts flipping through her "Secret Files" notebook. Webby appears hanging upside down in front of Dewey.] | |
| Webby | Whatcha doin'? |
| [Dewey gasps and falls backwards.] | |
| Dewey | I'm not breaking in, you're breaking in |
| Webby | Busted. You think I put glitter on my top-secret notebooks just because it's pretty? |
| [Dewey nods.] | |
| Webby | Well, sure, it's a perk, but... |
| Dewey | I'm sorry. I was just looking for information about my family |
| Webby | You shoulda asked. What do you want? Shoe sizes, horrible dark secrets known only to your Uncle Scrooge that could change the fate of the world as we know it? |
| Dewey | What do you know about my mom? |
| [Webby gasps. She closes the drapes over the window.] | |
| Webby | What do you know about your mom? |
| Dewey | Uncle Donald just told us she was gone. The only thing we have of her is this photo. |
| Webby | (gasps) Photographic evidence! I've got to add it to my Della Duck file. |
| Dewey | You have a whole file on my mom? |
| [Dewey opens it. The file is empty save for the photo Webby just put in it.] | |
| Dewey | Seriously? This is it? |
| Webby | I've been looking into her for years, but there's nothing. No photos, no records. No one even talks about her. One time, a piece of junk mail with her name on it showed up at our door, a day later, Scrooge bought the post office, and I never saw our mailman again. |
| Dewey | Maybe he retired? |
| Webby | Bad things happen to people who ask about Della Duck. |
| Dewey | So who are we gonna ask? |
| [Webby smiles at Dewey.] | |
| [Theme song plays.] | |
| [Launchpad pulls into the Money Bin car park with tires screeching. He proceeds to smash the car's hood into the wall.] | |
| Launchpad | You have arrived at your destination. |
| [Louie is groaning.] | |
| Scrooge | Be back at six, Launchpad. We have a, long hard day of work ahead of us. |
| [Louie groans to himself.] | |
| Launchpad | Gotcha, Mr. McD. |
| Dewey | Thanks for letting us tag along, Uncle Scrooge, but I suddenly very much have to use the bathroom. |
| Webby | Oh, and I will show you where to go to that place. |
| (Scrooge watches as Webby, holding Dewey's hand, leads him down a staircase, before hooking his cane onto Louie's hood as he tries to sneak off.) | |
| Scrooge | Oh no ya don't! |
| (With Dewey and Webby...) | |
| Dewey | What is this place? |
| Webby | The private library of Scrooge McDuck! If there's info about your mom, it's in here. |
| (Webby knocks on the door, gasping as it opens with a brilliant gold light shining out of it. The light fades to reveal Emily Quackfaster standing in the doorway.) | |
| Quackfaster | Ugh! Go away, Webby. For the last time, Mr. McDuck's archives are strictly off limits. |
| (She makes to close the door, but Webby stops it with her foot.) | |
| Webby | Except to his family. Meet Dewey Duck. |
| (Quackfaster looks at him, then abruptly throws the doors open) | |
| Quackfaster | Behold, heir of clan McDuck, the Archives! |
| (Scrooge and Louie enter Scrooge's office from an elevator, Louie looking around until he sees Scrooge's money pool.) | |
| Louie | (gasps) The money! You want me to count the gold? Maybe go out to spend some gold to make sure it hasn't expired? |
| Scrooge | There's more to money than just money. Gold is a beautiful thing, but... (he unveils the Number One Dime sitting on a pedestal) even something a small as a dime can have meaning. For instance... (sees Louie is gone) |
| (Louie tries to dive into the Money Bin but Scrooge stops him by grabbing his hood.) | |
| Scrooge | Are you out of your head? You'll crack your skull open! |
| Louie | But you swim in money all the time! |
| Scrooge | Yes, but I worked hard to perfect that skill, building muscles and dexterity. If you want something, you'll work hard to get it! |
| (The message machine beeps.) | |
| Secretary | Mr. McDuck, the Board is here to see you. |
| Scrooge | We didn't have a board meeting today. No matter. Come, lad! (grabs Louie with his cane as the latter tries to dive into the Bin again) Welcome to the fast-paced world of business! |
| (Cut to the boardroom.) | |
| Bradford Buzzard | As you know, revenues are down in our international markets, including Dawson, Lillehammer, Eldorado- (Louie starts falling asleep) and Culebra. We feel that- |
| (Gyro kicks open the door, startling Louie out of his seat.) | |
| Gyro | Shut up, everyone! I've done something brilliant! |
| Scrooge | Ah, Gyro! (to Louie) Gyro Gearloose, my head of research and development. |
| Bradford | I'm sorry, but we- |
| Gyro | Apology accepted. Now try to keep up with my mind-numbing genius. |
| Scrooge | Gyro, what did we say about interacting with other people? |
| Gyro | (sighs) The cards. Fine. (reading off cards) Hello, Mr McDuck... and others... Are you tired of all those single-use gadgets cluttering up your junk drawer? What a mess! There's got to be a better way. |
| (Gyro unboxes his invention, Lil Bulb.) | |
| Gyro | Meet Lil Bulb. The tiny, all-purpose robot that does it all! (Lil Bulb waves) |
| Bradford | Wait, what does it do? |
| Gyro | It. All. Lil Bulb is an artificially intelligent personal robot helper. He can make toast (it does), find your keys (it pulls Bentley's keys out from his pockets), serve as a booklight for your late-night reading! |
| (Lil Bulb lights up, causing the Board to flinch from the bright light.) | |
| Gyro | You'll never have to do anything yourself again! |
| (Louie gasps in delight) | |
| Bradford | Mm-hm. And how will you ensure this one won't achieve sentience and turn evil like all the others? |
| Gyro | Only HALF my inventions turn evil. The other half are just wildly misunderstood. |
| (Lil Bulb begins shaking its fist then performs a throat-slitting gesture at Bradford.) | |
| Bradford | What's it doing? |
| Gyro | (picks up Lil Bulb, who is still shaking its fist) Waving. It likes you. |
| (The Board share a look between themselves.) | |
| Bradford | Request denied. |
| (Gyro sighs, reboxes Lil Bulb then storms off in a huff.) | |
| Scrooge | Keep at it, Gyro. I know you'll come up with something great. |
| Gyro | Lil Bulb is something great. I'll show you. I'll show you all! |
| Scrooge | And maybe wait until you're out the room to say that next time. (closes door) |
| Louie | A robot that does everything for you? How could you say no to that? |
| Scrooge | Part of hard work is knowing how to work with others! My Board are the only people cheaper than I am. I trust them completely to make good financial decisions-- |
| Bradford | Indeed. Which is why we've called this meeting to discuss cutting your unnecessary spending here at the Money Bin. |
| Scrooge | Unnecessary!? I'm Scrooge McDuck! I don't spend one penny more than I need to! |
| Bradford | It says here that you're spending $15 million on- (shows folder) magical defense. |
| Scrooge | Do you have any idea how many vengeance curses I have on my head? |
| Louie | Think I'm just gonna go, and, uh... get a drink. Yeah. (leaves room) |
| (Back to the archives...) | |
| Webby | The Collective Treasure Maps of Peruvia! A Topographical Atlas of Plain Awful! Scrooge's Favorite Smells, Volume 12! (gasps) Fresh cookies. I knew it! |
| Dewey | Focus, Webby! (to Quackfaster) We're here to find out about Della Duck... |
| Quackfaster | So the blue one seeks to learn about his past. But is he strong enough to learn the truth!? |
| Dewey | ...Yes? |
| Quackfaster | WRONG! You must first prove yourself worthy by passing... THE TRIALS! |
| (Quackfaster throws a smoke bomb and vanishes. Dewey starts coughing.) | |
| Webby | (whispering) This is my new favorite library. |
| (Louie exits the elevator and inserts a dollar into the vending machine, but it isn't enough. The machine states "DEPOSIT 1.10".) | |
| Louie | A dollar ten? Who keeps dimes on them anymore? |
| (Louie has a sudden realisation; back in Scrooge's office, he notices the dime resting on a velvet pillow and takes it.) | |
| Louie | Oh, sweet! Scrooge has an emergency dime. (spends it) I'll pay you back later. |
| (Back in the boardroom...) | |
| Bradford | But how do you justify spending $5,000 on a velvet pillow for a dime? |
| (Louie sneaks into the meeting room, drinking a can of Pep.) | |
| Scrooge | That dime deserves its own velvet pillow! It's my Number-One Dime. The first dime I ever earned! |
| (Louie's eyes widen in horror; he continues drinking) | |
| Scrooge | I was a young shoeshine in Glasgow when a man came in, his boots cemented in mud. I worked and worked until those boots sparkled. I return, he gave me an American dime. That dime inspired me to move to America and find my fortune. It means more to me than every bit of bullion in my Money Bin. |
| (Everyone turns to Louie, who is still drinking his Pep in panic) | |
| Louie | Uh... I gotta go. Bye. |
| (Louie runs out of the room and towards the elevator, barely missing it) | |
| Louie | Gotta get the dime, gotta get the dime! |
| (Louie runs down the stairs to the Pep machine. A worker empties the dimes into a cart and goes into the elevator, headphones blaring music.) | |
| Louie | No, no, no, no, no, no... (the elevator closes, it rises to floor 57) 57? Oh, boy... |
| (Louie is exhausted from climbing the stairs; it's shown that he reached the second floor.) | |
| Louie | Come on! |
| (Finally, he reaches the 57th floor. The worker exits another room and heads for the elevator dancing to his music as Louie rushes after him.") | |
| Louie | Hey! Wait! The dime! Ah! |
| ("Although the elevator closes on Louie again, he peeks into the room the worker came out of and sees the dime inside on a pile of coins.) | |
| Louie | Okay. Easy. Break in, grab the dime, sneak downstairs. Oh, maybe stop at the vending machine-- Oh? |
| (Coin vacuuming machines activate and suck up some piles of coins.) | |
| Louie | Well, I'm dead. |
| Female voice (Louie's Phone) | Today, we're gonna teach you how to pick a lock. First, you need a small thin object, like a dime. |
| Louie | If I had that, then I wouldn't need the video! (phone switches to advertisement) No no, don't switch to an ad! Ugh... |
| Johnny (phone) | This week on Ottoman Empire, we're working on an ottoman for Flintheart Glomgold. He wants an ottoman with storage by this afternoon! |
| Louie | They're never gonna get that ottoman tuffted in time. (giggles) Focus! Aw, there's got to be a better way! |
| Gyro | Fools! They'll rue the day they overlooked us, Lil Bulb. |
| (Louie gets an idea; Lil Bulb lights up) | |
| Louie | Wait! Hold the elev- (groans in frustration as the elevator goes to the lobby.) |
| (Cut to the archives, where the first trial is coming up) | |
| Dewey | So what do you know about my mom? Was she really an adventurer? |
| Quackfaster | SILENCE! Behold your first test. You must decipher the ancient and mysterious code within. |
| Webby | Yes! I love codes! Dewey, you start with a Number Shift Cipher while I try a Monoalphabetic Substitution. |
| Dewey | Pretty sure this is just a library card catalogue. Mystery solved. |
| Webby | Oh yeah? If it's just a card catalogue, then how does it know your name? (points to a sign reading "DEWEY DECIMAL") Come on! |
| (Webby starts climbing the drawers; Dewey rolls his eyes and groans. Meanwhile, Louie is running downstairs and catches up to Gyro.) | |
| Louie (out of breath) | Hey hey, Gyro Gearloose! |
| Gyro | If this is about the Gearloose Magnetic Backpack, I specifically said they should not be used as schoolbags! Blathering Blatherskite, one teen gets stuck to a moving school bus. (starts pushing button) |
| Louie | No no no no, Louie Duck. Scrooge's super rich nephew. |
| (Gyro stops pushing the button and the elevator opens.) | |
| Gyro | Keep talking...sir. |
| Louie | Can't believe Scrooge and that tired old Board of his didn't see the potential in Lil Bulb here. I'd love to invest, but I'm gonna need to test this little guy out first. Do you mind if I borrow him for the afternoon? |
| Gyro | Anything you say, rich nephew. (whispering to Lil Bulb) Lil Bulb, you be good. Don't you rise up against your masters. Hmm. (to Louie) Ha ha ha. Just a little... robot humor. |
| Louie | No. Wait, I need to go... (the elevator closes. Again.) up! (imitating Scrooge) Put in a hard day's work, I think I'm so much smarter than-- |
| Scrooge | Louie! Where have you been? Trying to get out of work again? |
| Louie | What? No! I just, um... filled my notepad with all that precious business wisdom, so I-I went to go find another! |
| Scrooge | Good lad! Feel free to take as many pads as you want. Or are we not allowed to use those either, ya penny-pinching buzzards! (closes, then reopens door) No, but really. Make sure to use the front and back of every page. Write small. |
| (Back at the dime room, Lil Bulb lock picks the door.) | |
| Louie | And that's how you unlock a door! Good job, Louie. |
| (Lil Bulb widens its "eyes".) | |
| Louie | Finding one specific dime in this mess is gonna be a big job. Well, you'd better get to it! (punts Lil Bulb into a coin pile) It's, like, a dime. Ah, you'll find it. |
| (Louie takes out his phone, where he is watching Ottoman Empire.) | |
| Johnny (phone) | Ready to put your feet up, Mr Glomgold? |
| Glomgold | You call this an ottoman? It doesn't even have my face on it! Do it again! |
| (Louie giggles to himself in the background while Lil Bulb keeps searching for dimes. It spots one of the coin-grabbing machines and starts to rewire it, replacing the bulb in the machine with itself.) | |
| (Lil Bulb starts glowing red. By using the machine, it starts ripping off parts of the other machines.) | |
| Quackfaster | In order to gain knowledge from the Archives, one must first offer up knowledge. |
| Dewey | Look, Quackfaster. Normally I would be super-into a mysterious conspiracy quest. But couldn't you at least give me a tiny piece of information on my mom? |
| Webby (through clenched teeth) | Dewey, don't question the ancient methods. |
| Dewey | I'm just saying, these are feeling a little less than trials, and a little more like stalling. |
| Quackfaster | It is not for us to understand the ways of the Archives. |
| Dewey | That is literally your job! I'm out. She doesn't know anything. |
| Quackfaster | NO! None shall leave once the Trials are undertaken! There are those who would destroy you for the knowledge you seek. |
| Webby (whispering) | Just like the mailman... |
| Dewey | Who's gonna destroy me? Scrooge? The Government? The Unicorn Illuminati? |
| Quackfaster | Me. |
| Dewey / Webby | Wait / What? |
| (Quackfaster draws a sword and screams; Dewey and Webby flee on the book-carrying cart while Quackfaster chases them) | |
| Glomgold (phone) | You expect me to put my feet up on my own face, ya loons? Do it again! |
| Louie | You know, I used to hate this show, but now, I kinda love it. It's like every ottoman tells a story. |
| (The Number One Dime rolls to a halt at Louie's feet.) | |
| Louie | Hey, you found it! Great job, little... buddy... |
| (Lil Bulb, controlling a giant machine made of parts from the other money-vacuuming machines, stomps towards Louie and detects him holding the Dime. Louie flees the room screaming as Lil Bulb crashes through the wall.) | |
| (Back at the boardroom again...) | |
| Scrooge | If you can find me 3,000 gallons of silver polish for cheaper, I'd love to hear about it! |
| Bradford | Oh, this is getting us nowhere. If you won't make your own cuts, then we're forced to fire staff at the Bin to save money. The obvious choice is the archivist. |
| Scrooge | Fire Quackfaster? Never! For 50 years, that woman's level-headedness has kept my archives secure and orderly. |
| (Cut to Quackfaster chasing Webby and Dewey while swinging a sword in a not very level-headed manner.) | |
| Quackfaster | YOU DISRESPECT THE ARCHIVES!'YOU SHALL BECOME ONE WITH THE ARCHIVES!!! |
| Dewey | This isn't working! |
| Webby | Here! (She hands Dewey a book titled "How to disarm any foe".) Knowledge is the greatest weapon of all! |
| (Dewey throws the book at Quackfaster, who catches it. Both children keep throwing books and Quackfaster catches all of them before sorting them in their respective places in one move.) | |
| Bradford | Fine. Quackfaster stays. But Gyro is absolutely unnecessary. |
| Scrooge | Are you insane? Gyro Gearloose is one of the most brilliant minds of our time! |
| (Cut to Gyro trying to insert a dollar into one of Scrooge's vending machines and it getting rejected.) | |
| Gyro | You miserable piece of rust. I am man, you are machine! Do as I command or I will pull your plug! |
| Louie | AH! He's turned against me! (referring to Lil Bulb, still chasing him and busting through the elevator wall) He's sucking up all the dimes! Help! Help! |
| (Gyro sighs to himself and on his notepad, crosses out Lil Bulb's name on the "Good" list and writes it in the "Evil" list, then runs after Louie and Lil Bulb) | |
| Scrooge | If you're going to fire all the employees, why don't you just go ahead and shut the whole Bin down? |
| Bradford | You do have a perfectly good office downtown. Do you really need a Money Bin? (the Board smirk, Scrooge growls) |
| Dewey | I think we lost her. |
| Quackfaster | (grabs Webby and Dewey) Foolish child. You do not know what you think you know! |
| Dewey | I don't know anything! And it's really frustrating! |
| (Louie runs inside the library gasping for breath.) | |
| Dewey and Webby | Louie! Hey, Louie! Over here! |
| (Then Lil Bulb breaks the doors down.) | |
| Dewey | Uh, never mind. |
| Louie | Look! A distraction! (points) |
| (Lil Bulb falls for it and Louie escapes by running under its legs. Lil Bulb turns and continues to chase him; Dewey and Webby escape Quackfaster's grasp while she's distracted.) | |
| Louie (tired) | Lazy Tuesday equals an afternoon of TV. Hard work equals giant robot attack. Great life lesson, Scrooge! |
| (Lil Bulb chases Louie into Scrooge's office area, where it vacuums up dimes from the couch Louie is hiding behind. Gyro is right behind them.) | |
| Gyro | No! You are not evil! You are good, Lil Bulb. Good. |
| (Lil Bulb picks up and scans Gyro, flashing the words "Gearloose, Gyro: Genius, Inventor, Father" on screen. Gyro smiles as Lil Bulb recognizes him... then he gets turned upside down as Lil Bulb detects dimes on his person and vacuums them up.) | |
| (Lil Bulb turns to Louie and tries to vacuum up the Number One Dime - Louie loses his grip on it just as Gyro tackles Lil Bulb, sending the dime rolling into Scrooge's meeting room) | |
| Scrooge | Ye cannae get rid of the Bin! Ye may think they're crackpots and weirdos- |
| (Louie sneaks under the table in pursuit of the Dime, unable to retrieve it as the Board members unwittingly kick it away from Louie) | |
| Scrooge | But they're the ones who push innovation and creativity and spur this company ever forward! |
| (Gyro and Lil Bulb break the wall, startling Scrooge and the Board of Directors; Bradford kicks the dime away again) | |
| Gyro | Just a little malfunction! (part of the bin's machinery breaks) Definitely not evil! |
| Scrooge (casually) | Look, they're all mad as loons, and if you fire them, they're definitely going to seek revenge. |
| Bradford (suddenly nervous) | Uh, all in favor of keeping the Bin and everyone in it far away from our offices? |
| The Board | Aye! |
| (The Dime is vacuumed into the broken machinery.") | |
| Louie | NO! |
| (Louie chases after the dime. Heading into the elevator, he finds the cable has snapped and it is out of order.) | |
| Louie | Come on! |
| (At the Money Bin's vault entrance, Louie sees the dime rolling towards the vault and gives chase) | |
| Louie | No. No, no, no-no-no-no! Mine, mine, mine, Wait! Wait, wait, MINE! |
| (The Dime falls into the vault, disappearing with a twinkle.) | |
| Louie | Of course... |
| Dewey | Book Throw, book Throw! Throwing Books! |
| Quackfaster catches all the books and shelves them. | |
| Webby | This is our last book. Make it count. What are you doing? |
| Dewey | Don't come any closer, or the book gets it. I will crease this corner, man, so back off! Tell me about my mom. |
| Quackfaster | Why don't you see for yourself? |
| Dewey | (looks at book, "the Life and Times of Della Duck") This is it. This is it! This is... (blank pages) nothing. |
| Webby | (puts her hand on Dewey's arm, she notices a number in the pages) Wait. I've seen that number before. Follow me! |
| Louie is sifting through Scooge's coins. | |
| Louie | Oh, just a dime, just a dime. Oh, a quarter! Wait, there it is. |
| Gyro is wrestling with Lil Bulb on the diving panel. | |
| Gyro | Oh, I know what went wrong. This is a 75-watt bulb. Little bulb only built for 50. Ha-ha. He just went a little mad with power. |
| Gyro replaces the bulb and Lil Bulb disassembles itself, spilling it's contents on top of Louie. | |
| Louie | Woah, what the... Ah--Mm! Plugh! |
| Gyro | So you write me a check, or...? |
| Scrooge | A pleasure as always. I'll be in my office if you need me. Please don't need me. |
| Webby | I don't understand. It should be here somewhere. |
| Dewey | Wait, these books. They're all out of order. Quackfaster's a lot of things, but she's not sloppy. |
| Quackfaster | (off screen) Use your training. The most valuable knowledge must be earned. |
| Dewey | Okay, how much of this is about us doing your work for you? |
| Quackfaster | About fifty percent... |
| Elevator is out of order. | |
| Scrooge | Curse me kilts. |
| Montage of Dewey and Webby sorting books, Louie wading through the coins to reach the dime, and Scrooge climbing the stairs. | |
| Louie | Come on, come on, you got this! |
| Louie grabs the dime. Dewey and Webby place the last book in order lighting the way to an access panel. Scrooge enters just as Louie finishes putting the dime back in the display case. | |
| Scrooge | Oh, there you are. |
| Louie | I can't catch my breath...! |
| Scrooge | Oh, don't be so dramatic. A little work never hurt anybody. |
| Dewey | Okay, here goes noth... (gets stuck with a needle) OW! What is up with this stupid library? |
| Intercom | McDuck family DNA recognized. |
| Chamber opens to reveal a mini museum. | |
| Webby | Wow! |
| Dewey | (looks at picture of Della.) Mom. Why would this stuff be hidden? I gotta show this to Huey and Louie. |
| Webby | Wait. What's this? |
| Dewey | (Reads note framed on the wall.) "Scrooge, I've taken the Spear of Selene. I'm sorry, Della." Wait, what did she take? Why is she sorry? |
| Webby | Did she betray your Uncle Scrooge? |
| Dewey | We can't tell anyone about this until we find out what it means. |
| Scrooge | I'm proud of you, lad. Been a full day at the office. I think you earned this. |
| Louie | You're giving me your number-one dime? |
| Scrooge | That's not my lucky dime. I never let my dime out of my sight. That was just a decoy. I'm not an idiot. This place is full of lunatics. A dime sure means more when you have to work for it, eh, lad? |
| Louie | Ooh. Maybe I'll get my own velvet pillow for this baby, Ha-ha-ha! Oh, hold up. (buys can of Pep and gasps at what he just did) NOOOOOO!!! |
| Gyro's lab, later that night. | |
| Gyro | Hm. Gyro creates robot. Robot gets free will. |
| (Lil Bulb chases after a bug with a mallet, Gyro stares with a gapping look) | |
| Gyro | Robot turns on Gyro. Gyro controls robot. Gyro IS robot. |
| Underlines "Project Blatherskite." |