Transcript[]
| The episode begins in the Sunchaser\Cloudslayer. Scrooge is at a table with Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby. | |
|---|---|
| Scrooge | Every ten years, Jörmungandr, the great snake that encircles the Earth, releases his tail, and threatens to destroy the planet. |
| Huey | (while raising hand) Um, I have numerous, science based questions- |
| Scrooge | Unless the chosen "Champion of the Earth" can defeat him and his barbarian minions in combat. I am that champion. |
| Huey, Dewey, Louie, Webby | Oooh! |
| Scrooge | One day I'll have to pass the torch to the next "Champion of the Earth". Which of you will it be? Webby, Huey, Louie... Webby. |
| Dewey | You're saving my name for last, right? For... dramatic effect? |
| Scrooge | Yes. That. |
| Scrooge | The truth is, none of you are ready to fight just yet. I am only bringing you along to prepare you for the future. |
| Huey | Why are you trusting us with that, and not Donald and Mom? |
| Scrooge | Because you are the new generation! Also, I don't trust Donald and Della to cooperate on a jigsaw puzzle, much less the fate of the universe. |
| Scrooge | Gird yourselves for the most gritty, solemn fight we have ever faced. Launchpad, fly into that rainbow. |
| Launchpad | Ooh, pretty! (flies into rainbow) |
| Valhalla appears, and Launchpad lands the plane at the arena. Everyone gets out of the plane. | |
| Webby | (Excitingly) Is that a barbarian with a battle axe?! They found a way to make rainbows BETTER! |
| Scrooge | Welcome to Valhalla. All right, you saturnine snake, let's do this! |
| Camera moves up to the statue of Jormungandr then back to the family. | |
| Webby | This is the best day! |
| [Cue theme song] | |
| Huey | So let me get this straight, you're going to fight a snake that's 1000 times bigger than you are? |
| Scrooge | Don't be silly. He transmogrifies into a snake-man beast first. |
| Huey | Yeah, sure. Of course. |
| (Faint chanting can be heard in the distance.) | |
| Huey | What's that rhythmic chanting? |
| Scrooge | A fierce Norse incantation meant to summon the beast. |
| Louie | (while pointing to 2 people wearing t-shirts) Hey, check it out. Jormungandr versus Scrooge t-shirts. Hmm... merchandising. Guess Louie knows what Louie's doing today. (naughtily backing away into a hanger full of t-shirts.) |
| Scrooge | (when approaching door to arena) The ancestral Norse fighting pit. (opens door) |
| Door opens to reveal an arena from a specific sport. | |
| Huey | Really? Because it seems like- |
| Flames and come out of the edges of the arena. | |
| Launchpad | Oh! It's wrestling! |
| Fans | This is awesome! |
| Launchpad (echoing) | This is awesome! |
| Huey | So these guys just copied professional wrestling? |
| Scrooge | No, this tournament is as old as the Earth itself. Wrestling copied all of this stuff from them. |
| Dewey | A flashy fight with flamboyant costumes where you get cheered by adoring fans? Oh, I am "Dewey-ing" it! What can go wrong? |
| Scrooge | (while stretching) You can be pummeled senseless under a two-ton terror, with every bone broken, while the world literally cracks in two. |
| Dewey | And they will love me for it! |
| Announcer | Introducing, the chairman of the V.W.E, our beloved underdog, a man-snake of the people, Mr. Jormungandr! |
| Jormungandr has been summoned and is standing in the middle of the arena. The fans cheer loudly. | |
| Jormungandr | Thank you, thank you. I can't tell you how honored I am, to be here, fighting for you, the fallen warriors of Valhalla! You all died gloriously in battle, and now everyone on Earth will have the chance to join you here once we defeat Team Earth! This is... Rumble for Ragnarok... 100! |
| Launchpad | Woohoo! |
| Jormungandr | As always, this will be the best of 3 tournaments. Our greatest fighters, will face off against the Gilded Green Monger, The Hated Hoarder, The Infamous Millionaire Miser. |
| Dewey | Wait, who's is he talking about? |
| Scrooge is seen wearing a green costume with a money sign at the front, and carrying a bag with money. | |
| Scrooge | Wish me luck, laddies! (walks to fans) All right, pay up! (while holding bag open) |
| Announcer | Look at that! The Miser is collecting back taxes! |
| Huey | Guys, I'm starting to think Scrooge isn't the good guy here. |
| Launchpad | Yeah, Jormungandr is the baby-faced people's champ that everyone loves. Scrooge is playing the role of the villainous heel. |
| Dewey, Huey, and Webby look to Launchpad in confusion. | |
| Launchpad | I watch a lot of wrestling while I fly. |
| Huey | Wait, while? |
| Dewey | That's ridiculous. Uncle Scrooge is the greatest hero of all time! |
| Webby | Huh. I guess not everyone thinks so. |
| Scrooge climbs onto the arena and throws his money bag, but it hits the announcer and knocks him out. | |
| Scrooge | Oops. |
| Launchpad | Dibs on announcing! |
| Huey | He's gonna need my help. Good thing I have my Junior Woodchuck Sports Commentary badge! |
| Huey | (to fans) Greetings, sport fans. Today's spirited match is shaping up to be an enthusiastic- |
| Launchpad | (to fans) ARE YOU READY TO RAGNAROK?! |
| The edges of the arena spit flames and people cheer. | |
| Launchpad | (to fans) This is the first of three matches! First to pin their opponent wins. Up first, representing Team Valhalla, we have the Hammer, from Kraghammer, the legendary, Strongbeard! |
| Strongbeard enters the arena and gives high-fives to the fans. | |
| Launchpad | Wow, folks. It seems that whoever possesses one of Strongbeard's hairs becomes impossibly strong! |
| Huey | Wait, how did you know that? |
| Launchpad | Just calling it as I see it. Wrestling! (Strongbeard climbs into the arena.) And here, we, go! |
| Dewey | (to Scrooge) You cannot let them talk to you this way! You're the hero! |
| Scrooge | It's all right. What matters is that I'm doing the right thing. (fake-crying) Wa-ha-ha! Give me a hand-out! I'm the Richest Duck in the World and you're not, ha-ha! |
| Strongbeard attacks Scrooge and wraps his arms around him tightly. Scrooge then puts his finger in Strongbeard's muscle, which causes him pain. | |
| Huey | (to fans) And here we see the use of a curious technique. An acupuncture pressure point, perhaps, or some kind of sedative neck message? |
| Launchpad | Uh-oh! The Miser's got Strongbeard in an unbreakable Penny Pincher hold! What's he gonna do?! |
| Strongbeard's hair pokes him, and Scrooge turns around only to receive a hard punch in the chin! | |
| Launchpad | And the Miser fell for a beard fake! |
| Strongbeard slams Scrooge to the ground. | |
| Dewey | Disqualified for illegal beard magic! (fans boo at him) |
| Just when Strongbeard is about to deliver his final blow to defeat Scrooge, Scrooge notices he has a strand of Strongbeard's hair, and gains a lot of strength. | |
| Huey | I am so confused! |
| Launchpad | Uh-oh, looks like the Miser absorbed some beard energy! |
| Strongbeard tries to body-slam Scrooge, but Scrooge holds him up, throws him, then pins him to the ground for 3 seconds and earns a point for his team. | |
| Launchpad | Wow! The Millionaire Miser with the incredible comeback win! Scores a point for Team Earth! |
| The crowd boos at Scrooge. | |
| Dewey | (to fans) You're cheering the wrong guy! Scrooge has save the world countless times and your guy is the minion of a giant dragon man! |
| The crowd gets mad at Dewey, and one person throws a chair at him. | |
| Scrooge | Dewey, look out! |
| Scrooge notices and pushes him out of the way, and the chair hits him instead. | |
| Scrooge | Oh, my blasted back! |
| Dewey and Webby help Scrooge walk to the locker room to rest. | |
| Dewey | Sorry. |
| Scrooge | It's alright, lad. We got the first win. But it looks like you kids are going to have to take over sooner than I thought. |
| Dewey looks at the crowd booing Scrooge, and becomes worried. | |
| Camera shifts to the locker room, where Scrooge is laying face-down while Webby and Dewey take care of him. | |
| Scrooge | Ok. Jormungandr has agreed to let a tag team take my place. |
| Webby | He is such a good guy! |
| Dewey | Ugh! |
| Scrooge | Which of you two will fight for me? (Dewey tries to get Scrooge's attention) Obviously Webby. Huey doesn't understand wrestling at all, and I don't know where Louie is. |
| Webby | He's probably scared and devastated from seeing you get hurt. |
| Camera shifts to a make-shift stand Louie has made. | |
| Louie | Get your "Scrooge gets hit with a chair" t-shirt here! Re-live "Chairmageddon" as a shirt! (fan raises hand and Louie shoots the t-shirt at him) |
| Camera shifts back to Scrooge. | |
| Scrooge | Well, I guess Webby will have to fight alone then. |
| Dewey | But I'm ready for this! |
| Scrooge | Come now, lad. They hate us out there, and I'm not sure you can handle this. |
| Dewey | You're right. "I" can't handle this. But.... (takes off robe to reveal outfit) Champ Popular can! My impossible-to-hate hero persona! Guarantied to turn "Boo" into "Woo! Dewey, we love you!" |
| Scrooge has an unimpressed look on his face. | |
| Dewey | Ok, you're still unsure. But wait until you see my final touch! (Pulls out lollipop) Get it? Champ "Pop" -ular? This will definitely win them over! (leaves locker room and goes to the arena) |
| Scrooge | (sarcastically) Yes, lad! Great! Oh, I believe in you! |
| Scrooge | (to Webby) Do all of the fighting, and make sure he doesn't die. |
| Webby | On it. |
| Dewey is about to go to the arena, and he is nervous. | |
| Dewey | (to himself) Ok, you've got this. Smile, be charming, win them over! And win the match, save the world, blah blah blah. |
| Huey | Suplex, duplex, sleeper hold. Ok, I think I've finally got a hold of this wrestling thing. |
| Launchpad | Awesome. Just in time for the tag-team round! |
| Huey | Wait, they're playing tag now? Ugh. (crumples paper he was writing on and throws it away) |
| Launchpad | (to fans) Introducing, Valhalla's new favorite hero, the irresistible, the simply dapper, the impossibly cool, Champ Popular! |
| Dewey notices he is losing the crowd. He takes out some lollipops and throws it at the crowd. | |
| Fan | He's throwing lollipops because he thinks we're suckers! |
| Dewey | No, they're delicious! |
| Fan | Stop the pop! Stop the pop! (chant starts) |
| Louie | Stop the pop! Get your "Stop the pop" shirts right here! |
| Dewey | How did you know what character I'd come and all ready make t-shirts against him? |
| Louie | I've known you my whole life! I kinda knew how this was gonna play out! |
| Dewey climbs into the ring and tries to win the crowd over. | |
| Launchpad | Champ Popular, more like Champ "Un-popular". This crowd is really giving it to him. |
| Huey | Yeah, more like Champ "Population" 0 friends... in Friendtown? Someone call the Census Bureau! Oh! (silence) |
| Fan | We hate you now! |
| Launchpad | Next up, Champ's tag-team partner, The Pink Predator, The Marauder of McDuck Manor! |
| Webby | (to crowd) Hi, I'm Webby! |
| Scrooge | This'll be a tough match, kids. Let's talk strategy. |
| Launchpad | And now, from Niffleheim, weighing in at a combined 10,000 shrieking undead souls, Hecka and Fenrir! (Hecka and Fenrir climb into the arena) |
| Dewey | C'mon, this is what you like? A creepy goth and her pet dog? |
| Crowd | Hecka yeah! Hecka yeah! |
| Huey | (to crowd) Are you folks ready for a game of tag grappling? Some wham-bam-slams? I don't know! |
| Launchpad | Wooooo! |
| Bell rings and Dewey comes running at Hecka. He tries to punch her, but she grabs him and throws him into the ropes, he gets tangled and his head keeps hitting the ground. | |
| Huey | With all those head pops, it looks like Champ Popular is more like Champ Popcorn! He "butter" do something fast! |
| Crowd | (to Huey) You're the worst! You're the worst! |
| Launchpad | You know his thing is lollipops, not corn, right? |
| Huey | But I have all these corn puns! |
| Launchpad | You don't have to try to make it sound great, it already is! |
| Camera shifts back to the fight. Dewey tries to punch Hecka, but she is pushing him away. He tries to dive behind her, but she grabs onto his collar and throws him to the ground. Hecka starts floating. She dives back into the ground, but Dewey nearly dodges her attack. | |
| Scrooge | Don't let the crowd get to you, lad. Embrace the boos. Be the bad guy! |
| Dewey | No, I can win them over. I can make them love me. |
| Hecka stares at Dewey and gets ready for an attack. | |
| Scrooge | Ah, tag Webby, tag Webby! (Dewey tags Webby) |
| Webby | Leave Champ alone! |
| Webby goes to the ropes and flings herself towards Hecka. | |
| Webby | Oh, is that all you've got? I thought you were supposed to be "great warriors"! Get the "Hecka" out of here! |
| Scrooge | Atta-girl! Embrace your inner heel! |
| Dewey | (trying to win the crowd) I don't know her! |
| Webby continues to fight Hecka and pins her, but Fenrir pushes her away. | |
| Dewey | What? That's not fair, he didn't tag in! That's cheating! Cheaters! Cheaters! Now you say it! |
| Webby sees Fenrir and instantly falls in love. She wants to pet him. | |
| Webby | Oh, you're so dangerous and cute! I just want to pet your little belly! |
| Dewey | Oh, that's good. The crowd loves the dog-lover angle. Keep going! |
| Scrooge | No, Webby it's a trap! |
| Fenrir grabs Webby by the shirt and swings her around | |
| Launchpad | Uh-oh. A classic "Who's a good boy" gambit! |
| Huey | I don't understand anything and nothing I say makes any sense! Wait, am I the "Launchpad" here? |
| Fenrir swings Webby out of the ring. | |
| Dewey | That's it! I know what to do to win! |
| Scrooge | Great! |
| Dewey | Them over! |
| Scrooge | No! |
| Dewey | (climbs into the ring) (to crowd) No one likes dogs more than Champ Popular! (takes out lollipop) Who's a good boy? Does a good boy want a snackie-poo? (Fenrir eats it) See! He likes it! |
| Fan | What are you doing? You can't give candy to a dog! (Fenrir spits lollipop out) What are you, a dummy? |
| Webby viciously attacks Fenrir and holds him tightly. | |
| Webby | Pin him! |
| Launchpad | Woah, back from the dead, from the queen of the dead, Webby takes out Fenrir, and sets Champ Popular for the pin! |
| Crowd | Stop the pop! Stop the pop! (T-shirt flies into the ring) |
| Louie | Hey, can you wear this in the ring? It'll really up my sales. |
| Crowd | You're the worst! You'll never be a hero! |
| Dewey | No, please, I- |
| Scrooge | Don't listen to them, lad! Look out! |
| Fenrir pushes Dewey and pins him. The bell rings and the crowd cheers. | |
| Launchpad | Oh! Team Ragnarok gets the comeback win! Looks like they've got the momentum now! But don't worry Team Earth, it's not the end of the world... |
| Jormungandr | Yet! |
| Crowd boos Dewey. | |
| Jormungandr | Hey, hey, hey, let's take it easy on the poor guy. It's not his fault he's a puny mortal with a toxic personality. So it looks like Team Earth made it to the final round! So that means you all get what you've been waiting for. The main event! I know you're all disappointed about how lackluster Earth has been this year. So I have a special treat for all of you adoring fans. I challenge Earth to a battle royale! |
| Huey | He wants to fight a king? |
| Launchpad | No. It means he's taking on all of Team Earth! If you get knocked out of the ring, you stay out, folks. And the first to get a pin, wins. |
| Scrooge | Challenge accepted, you showboating basilisk. My family is ready to take whatever you've got. Right guy...? I will be right back. |
| Scrooge | (to Webby) Stall. |
| Jormungandr | Listen up, miser. I'm just a noble, humble snake-man of the people who's fed up with your ruthless reign of greed. (Webby snatches microphone) |
| Webby | Excuse me Mr. Jormungandr. Big fan. If you would like a fight, allow me to introduce you to this fist. (points to her fist) Her name is Lady Haymaker. And, of course, also her country cousin, the Duchess of Wailing. |
| Scrooge finds Dewey and sits next to him. | |
| Dewey | I'm sorry, Uncle Scrooge. I just... I can't do it. |
| Scrooge | I know, lad. It's ok. |
| Dewey | No, I can't. Wait, it's ok? Isn't this the part where you tell me "Of course you can lad, I believe in you!" |
| Scrooge | Doing the right thing is not always easy, or popular. Not everyone is cut out to be the "Champion of the Earth". |
| Dewey | But what about the fight? |
| Scrooge | I called in back-up as soon as you had to take over. I mean, it is the fate of the Earth! |
| Dewey | Well that made me feel even worse. |
| Webby | And lastly, I'll use the dust of your bones as sweetener in my tea. Thank you for your time. |
| Fan | Too far! |
| Jormungandr | We, warriors of Valhalla, aren't scared of you! |
| Webby | It's not me who you should be scared of. |
| Beakley appears in a shield maiden costume and hits Jormungandr with a chair. | |
| Launchpad | What a surprise, folks! The Millionaire Miser's Maid! |
| Beakley | Shield maiden! The only thing I'm going to clean today is your clock! |
| Camera cuts to Dewey in the locker room. Huey walks in. | |
| Dewey | Shouldn't you be announcing the fight? |
| Huey | I can't do that. I thought I was smart enough to handle anything this adventure had to throw at me, but I'm just embarrassing myself! |
| Dewey | Yeah, me too. I know we're supposed to take over for Scrooge one day, but do you ever wonder, if maybe we're cut out for it? |
| Louie runs into the locker room. | |
| Louie | The world is about to end! We need to do something! |
| Dewey | I can't do it. They hate me. |
| Huey | And I don't understand wrestling. |
| Louie | WHAT?! Just roll with it. You don't have to understand something to love it. Say literally the first thing that comes to mind. Be L.P. |
| Huey | Be... Launchpad. |
| Louie | And you. I've known you my whole life. I know how this plays out. You're a hero. So go save the world. Let's do this! |
| Dewey | I don't know. |
| Louie | Buh... Let's "Dewey" this? |
| Dewey | I'm in. |
| Webby and Beakley fight Jormungandr, but knocks them out of the ring. | |
| Scrooge | I'll shed your skin for (back pain) -ow! |
| Launchpad | (jumps into the ring with a costume on) Woah. In a completely unexpected twist, the announcer was Captain Crash this whole time! What's Jormungandr going to do now? |
| Jormungandr swings them both into the ropes and then hits them out of the ring. Shirts gets shot at his face and he hisses. | |
| Dewey | I guess you forgot about the Pop that never stops, no matter how hard it is! |
| Fan | Your catchphrases are forced! |
| Dewey | That's just how I "Dewey" it! (walks toward ring) |
| Huey | Wow! And in a surprising turn of events, Champ Popular is back to bite the snake that bit him! |
| Jormungandr | (Dewey climbs into the ring) (to Dewey) They hate you. You should give up. |
| Dewey | I don't care. But you do. |
| Jormungandr | Pssshh. I don't care at all, why should I? I'm the most popular hero in all the land and for all time! |
| Jormungandr attacks Dewey heavily and the crowd starts to turn sides. They start booing. | |
| Jormungandr | You see how easy this is for me? I don't even have to use my hands. (Jormungandr notices the boos) |
| Huey | Ooh, looks like Jormungandr is losing the crowd! |
| Strongbeard | This is not the Norse way. (shakes head) |
| Jormungandr | What are you doing? Cheer me! I am your hero! |
| Strongbeard | Young one! (chops off hair and gives it to Dewey) |
| Dewey ties the clump of hair around his neck and gains the beard energy. | |
| Huey | Oh my! Dewey's absorbed that beard energy! |
| Jormungandr tries to punch Dewey, but he blocks the attack. He tries to punch again, but he blocks it too. He jumps and kicks Jormungandr in the jaw. Jormungandr tries to hit Dewey with his tail, but he grabs it and twists Jormungandr around and then throws him up into the air. He grabs him and jumps high into the air. Then he turns him around head-first into the ground and pins Jormungandr. Everyone cheers. | |
| Huey | All I can say is this is... |
| Launchpad | Awesome! |
| Jormungandr | Until next time, Champ Popular! (he ascends into the sky as a statue again.) |
| The referee gives Dewey the belt. | |
| Huey | A true people's hero. |
| Scrooge | You showed real grit out there, lad. (whispers) I'm proud of you. |
| Dewey | Thanks, Uncle Scrooge. But why are you whispering? |
| Scrooge | So I can get close... and do this! (snatches belt away from Dewey) |
| Huey | What's this? The Millionaire Miser has turned on his own nephew! He stole the belt. What a heel! |
| Scrooge | That's right! Unless Champ Popular thinks he can stop me! |
| Singer | There goes my hero! |